It starts with you.
Yup, I’m jumping right in! People making you feel less than because of your struggle with anxiety starts with you.
Sometimes people don’t actually think less of you, treat you differently, or don’t like you because of your struggle with anxiety, sometimes it’s just your perception. Our perceptions of ourselves can be very distorted and downright inaccurate, especially in the height of anxiety and panic.
Don’t get me wrong, some people are just plain unkind and aren’t able to support you, and I’ll jump into that one in just a minute!
I used to walk around feeling like everyone was staring at me, thinking I was crazy, thinking that I was being judged, or just flat out disliked. But the truth was, I didn’t like myself. I was constantly overanalyzing myself and I was convinced that I was crazy. And I truly believed all of these things because I had been telling myself really negative, unproductive, and unhealthy messages for so long. If you’d like to learn a tool that will help you to eliminate these negative messages and also help your self-confidence, check out my blog post on positive self-talk.
And can I tell you something? Everyone isn’t staring at you and judging you. Some might be, but ask yourself, do those people truly know you? Chances are, you’ve never even met these people. They have no idea what you are struggling with, or know the thoughts that you are thinking.
And you are not crazy! Sure, you may have some pretty outlandish thoughts at times, but that doesn’t mean you are crazy. You have a creative mind that is using the creativity against you rather than for you. You can change your thoughts with some positive-self talk and by being kind to yourself, which will help you use your creativity in a healthy way!
You are working through something REALLY hard, and you are doing a great job! Tell yourself that you are doing a good job! When you are anxious, you are likely beating yourself up. Beating yourself is only going to cause more anxiety. Your brain needs to hear that you are doing a good job so that it can work to prevent anxiety and panic.
Okay, so on the other hand, it’s not just an inaccurate perception of yourself and someone IS truly causing you to feel less than.
Good news! This is also within your control. Very long story short... Toxic relationships = stress and stress = anxiety.
Identifying toxic relationships and toxic people can sometimes be tough, but I always ask myself these questions:
Does this person always point out the bad?
Is this person there for me when I need them?
Are they truly able to support me? Do they support me?
Is this person actively working to improve themselves and grow alongside me?
Does this person make me feel bad about myself?
Asking yourself these questions and answering them honestly will ultimately answer this question:
Is it healthy for me to have this person in my life?
If the person is not healthy for you to have in your life, I recommend taking a step away from this relationship. It’s okay to let the person know that although you value them and your relationship, you need to step away in order to focus on you. And in the future, if this person is in a healthy space, you can welcome them back into your life (if that’s what you choose).
So the next time you start down an unproductive path of thinking that you aren’t worthy or capable, ask yourself if it’s your perception of yourself, or if it’s because you have a toxic person in your life that you need to remove in order to push forward.
The good news, both of these things are fixable! And if you haven’t read my blog post on how to boost your self-confidence, check it out here.
You are a very strong, powerful, and amazing individual! Keep pushing forward!