My Journey With Airplane Anxiety - With 5 Helpful Tips!
- Shannon Jackson
- Dec 3, 2023
- 7 min read
Updated: Jul 16, 2024
If you’re familiar with my story, you’ll know that I struggled with anxiety, panic disorder, and agoraphobia for fifteen years. And so many of my fears were centered on losing control, being stuck, and being far from safety. And because of this, flying was always especially difficult for me! My flying anxiety had little to do with the safety of the plane (like turbulence or the plane crashing), but had lots more to do with these things:
Being stuck and trapped on an airplane and worrying about experiencing lots of anxiety and panic. Once that plane door closes, you can’t exactly get off, right?
Worrying about having a medical event on the plane. I would think... What if I pass out? What if something happens to my heart? Because, you know, it’s never “just” anxiety when you’re having a panic attack!
Worrying about freaking out in front of everyone on the plane and embarrassing myself.
Worrying about having to go to the bathroom while on the plane and not being able to get to it if I needed it.
All of the anxiety that comes before even stepping foot onto the plane. Driving to the airport, going through security, waiting in lines, waiting to board. All of this anxiety was just as bad as the anxiety I experienced when boarding the plane!
The anxiety that comes along with worrying about whether or not I’d actually be able to get back on the plane and get back home if I needed to, or just when we were supposed to.
If you can relate to any or all of this, this episode is for you! In this podcast episode, I’m sharing my journey with flying anxiety because I’m proud to say that I’ve fully recovered! Since overcoming flying anxiety, I’ve flown dozens of times with much more peace and ease. So let’s get into my story and the tips that can help you!
My Journey With Airplane Anxiety
When my now husband Adam and I were dating, he surprised me with plane tickets to New York City. At the time, I was really struggling with anxiety, panic disorder, and agoraphobia, but Adam was confident I could handle the 45-minute flight. And, he was kind of wrong and kind of right! As soon as I got on the plane and the doors shut, the panic began to set in. I felt like I was trapped and losing control, and the flight was really hard for me. Even though I did it, I felt embarrassed and ashamed that the flight was so difficult for me.
After that, I was sure that I’d never want to fly again. But just under a year later, I moved across the country, from Maine to Utah, with Adam. Yeah... crazy, huh? It still amazes me that I did this. Once in Utah and the holidays approaching, I just wanted to be home with my family for Christmas. Adam had to work, and so my only option was to fly home… alone… across the country. And I did it, luckily with the help of some medication! At the time, I wasn’t taking any daily anxiety medication, however I did have Ativan to take when needed. And I carried it with me everywhere, but never actually took it. Well, for this cross-country solo trip, I took it!
I flew from Utah to NYC, then from NYC to Boston on an overnight flight. And I don’t want to give all of the credit to the Ativan, but it was definitely helpful. Just a quick note here - if you take a daily anxiety medication, or if you take something like Ativan or Xanax when needed, it’s okay. Medication is just another tool that can help support you, and you won’t always feel you need it.
After this solo trip home to see my family, I took a bit of a break from flying. Instead of flying, I would convince Adam to take road trips and drive everywhere (even though it was never practical and driving long distances was nearly just as hard for me). And then I remember feeling like - this is silly. If it’s going to be hard, I might as well get back on a plane and really go on the adventures I want to go on!
Over the upcoming years, we took flights all over. We went to Mexico, Texas, North Carolina, Missouri, back to NYC, and I even took a solo flight to Maryland. And I’m not going to lie, so many of these flights and trips were hard. I hated flying. I hated feeling trapped. I hated that I always braced myself for a panic attack and inevitably experienced one, or two. But, I also have many really good memories from these trips - they weren’t all shit just because anxiety was very present on them.
I began taking lots of healthy steps in my day-to-day life, and this all helped me for when I would fly. I finally started to realize that experiencing panic didn’t mean I was in danger, and that I didn’t always need an escape plan. I could be stuck, experience panic, and still be totally safe. And I know you can experience that same shift, friend. So let's jump into the tips that will help you!
5 Practical Tips for Overcoming Flying Anxiety
01. Let yourself feel anxious about flying. Just because you struggle with an anxiety disorder doesn’t mean you can never feel anxious. It makes sense to feel anxious when flying and traveling! Flying can be overwhelming and stressful. So please, don’t tell yourself you can’t or shouldn’t feel anxious. Instead, tell yourself, "Yup, I’m going to feel anxious and it makes sense that I will. I’m going to let anxiety come along and we’ll just see what it looks like!"
02. Stop putting flying on an airplane on such a pedestal! One of the ways you can do this is to recognize that stuckness is created internally, not externally. Sure, the reality is that you are stuck on an airplane and you can't just get off once the plane door closes, but how is this different from all of the other aspects in which you feel stuck and anxious in your day-to-day - like in your car, or in meetings, or at the grocery store?
The truth is, you feeling anxious and panicking on the plane really isn’t going to look any differently than you panicking off of the plane! And when you practice changing your response to your thoughts and feelings and to the stories you’re telling yourself, you become unstuck. This is the stuff I teach you in my masterclass!
03. Recognize the realities. Yes, you’re going to feel anxious and you may even panic on the plane, but you can’t and won’t panic the entire time. The reality is that you'll likely feel lots of anxiety before boarding, during boarding, and during takeoff, but after that you'll likely just experience waves of anxiety. And you are capable of working through waves of anxiety, you've proven this to be true many times before!
And I'll say, I've worked with many students on overcoming their flight anxiety, and I’ve yet to hear of one story where somebody panicked the whole time, or went running up and down the aisles of the airplane, in full blown panic mode, begging to get off.
04. Don’t wait until right before the flight to take healthy steps. Consistently taking healthy steps in your everyday life and working to regulate your nervous system is going to be the most helpful thing for you for when the time comes for you to actually get on the flight and take the trip! This is why I talk so much about taking healthy action consistently!
Don't fall into the trap of thinking that the key to overcoming flying anxiety is to just take more flights - because that's not how it works! Yes, taking more flights gives you more practice, but the best time to practice having a healthy response to anxiety is in your day-to-day life - and this is something you can practice often!
05. Choose your values, feel the fear, and do it anyway! I know, easier said that done, right? Right! But when it comes down to it, you have to choose to be courageous and do the things you want to do while letting anxiety join you. And yes, it'll be hard, but anxiety won't be the only emotion on the trip. You'll also experience many moments of joy, happiness, and excitement. And you deserve to experience it all!
Overcoming Airplane Anxiety Masterclass
Stop waiting until you feel ready or confident to take the trip - because if you wait for this day, you’ll be waiting a very long time! Take my masterclass on overcoming airplane anxiety and learn simple and practical tips and tools that will actually help you to book the flight and experience more peace and freedom while traveling.
In the class, I'll teach you:
How to relieve the anxiety you experience before getting on the plane
How to relieve the anxiety you experience while on the plane and actually experience enjoyment on the flight
What to do with your thoughts so that they don't cause you to spiral and lead to the symptoms and panic
What to do when the symptoms or panic pop up, especially when you're feeling stuck or trapped
Practical steps that will help you to book the flight and actually feel confident (and excited) about it
And so much more! If you’re wondering if the class is actually helpful, check out what some students had to say who took the class...
Don’t forget to listen to the full episode filled with goodness! And until next time, keep taking healthy action.
TRANSCRIPT
Welcome to a healthy push Podcast. I'm Shannon Jackson, former anxiety sufferer turned adventure mom and anxiety recovery coach. I struggled with anxiety, panic disorder and agoraphobia for 15 years. And now I help people to push past the stuff that I used to struggle with. Each week, I'll be sharing real and honest conversations, along with actionable and practical steps that you can take to help you push past your anxious thoughts, the symptoms, panic and fears. Welcome. You're right, we're meant to be. Okay, flying anxiety, airplane anxiety, let's talk about it. But I think before I dive too deep into this topic, I first just want to start by clarifying what type of anxiety I'm talking about here. Because when people hear flying or airplane anxiety, I think they immediately jump to, oh, you're scared about the safety of flying, like you're worried about turbulence or the plane crashing. And although these are totally valid, this really isn't the type of anxiety I'm talking about here. I'd say 5%, or less of my anxiety was surrounding the safety of flight. But the other 95% Well, it was so much more. It was mostly that feeling of being stuck and trapped on the aeroplane, and worrying about experiencing so much anxiety and panic. Like once that plane door closes, you can't exactly get off, right? Like that feeling of being stuck and trapped. It is so so hard. Then there was worrying about me having a medical event on the plane. Like, what if something actually happens to me, and I can't get help? Like, what if I pass out? Or what if something happens to my heart, because you know, it's never just anxiety when you're having a panic attack. Then there was me worrying about freaking out in front of everyone and embarrassing myself, like I worried about this so much. And I didn't want anyone to see me anxious, then there was worrying about having to go to the bathroom law on the plane and not being able to get to a bathroom if I needed it like on takeoff or landing or just if it was in use. And then there was all the anxiety that even came before getting to the airport or stepping onto the plane, like driving to the airport was so hard. And then once at the airport, going through security and waiting in lines and more of that feeling of being stuck and trapped. And then waiting to board the plane. Like all of this anxiety was just as bad as the anxiety I experienced while boarding and while on the plane. Oh, and then don't forget all the anxiety that comes along with worrying about whether or not you'll actually be able to get back on the plane to get back home when you need to. So yeah, this is the anxiety that I'm talking about in relation to flying. So if you can relate to any or all of this, this episode is for you. So I want to first start by taking it back to my first flight ever. I did not get on an airplane until I was at least 22 or 23 years old. I grew up fairly poor, and my parents did not have the funds to travel. And so I never did any traveling until I met Adam, my now husband. And actually when we first started dating, he knew how much I wanted to travel and how much I wanted to go on these adventures. And so he thought that it would be a great idea for my birthday to surprise me with some tickets, some plane tickets for a trip to New York City.
So we were traveling from Maine to New York City. And I remember him presenting me with these tickets. And he was so excited. And I remember opening the card and seeing these tickets and thinking, Is he crazy? Like how the heck am I going to do this? And New York City? Like, is he actually crazy? And he looked at me and I think he could see the concern in my eyes. And he said, Shannon, this flight is only 45 to 50 minutes. It's why I booked it. It's gonna be short, like you can do this. And I remember thinking, I do not care how short this flight is. I am going to freak out and no, like I cannot do this. I mean, there was of course the anxiety there from me having never been on a plane. But at this time when Adam and I met and we were dating and he surprised me with this trip. I was struggling severely with panic disorder and agoraphobia. And everyday things were hard for me like driving going to the store. I mean, going to work and so thinking how the heck am I going to do this trip like I want to but I don't even know if if this is possible. But I did it. And yes, I absolutely freaked out. Like I freaked out on my way to The airport, I freaked out at the airport. I really don't even know how I got on the plane. And then when we finally got on the plane, and we were standing in our seats, and we were just, you know, getting ready for takeoff, I grabbed Adams hand so tight, and His face looked genuinely concerned. And he said, Are you okay? And I said, No, I can't do this. I'm having a panic attack. And I need to get off of the plane. And Adam looked at me and just said, well, the planes are already shut, Shannon. So that's not really an option. And I'm sure you can hear the emotion in my voice because I can remember how it felt. And I just sat there and I cried, I just felt like I'm doomed. This is going to be awful. And it was really hard. And it definitely had hard moments. But thank goodness, it was a shorter flight. But overall, right, this trip to New York City that Adam had so graciously planned and surprise me with, didn't turn out so good. Like, there were so many hard moments, there are tears, there were moments of frustration and sadness and moments where I really lashed out and anger. And unfortunately, Adam bore the brunt of it. And I felt so guilty and ashamed for having acted the way that I did. But I acted that way, because I was just so overwhelmed by anxiety, and fear. And there were definitely moments where we had fun. We we did things, and I have good memories from that trip. But it was so incredibly hard. And I remember getting home. And I thought to myself, great, I did that. And there's no way I'm doing that again. And then just under a year later, Adam and I moved across country, from Maine to Utah. And this is all because when I was a teenager, and in my early 20s, I had always said I want to get the heck out of Maine, I want to see life outside of meaning I want to have more experiences, I want adventure. And I want it to be somewhere far away. Right? This is so stereotypical, I think. So Adam convinced me he had lived out west and Colorado and Utah and and worked on ski mountains. And so he convinced me, it's gorgeous. It's very similar to mean, there are mountains, you will love it. And there are so many places that we'll be able to go to and see. And I have no idea what possessed me to think that this was a good idea. I want to say that obviously being in love was a big part of it. So I agreed to it. And we packed up, we drove in our separate cars, and we made the venture out west. And I really to just thinking about the drive. I have no idea how I did this, because everyday things were so hard to me. But Adam was of course really encouraging and really convincing. And there was a big part of me that wanted to do this, like I had always wanted to be adventurous and live this big life. And so I did, we moved out to Utah. And then once in Utah, literally the first year we were there, the holidays were approaching and I just wanted to go home to be with family for Christmas. But Adam had to work. And so my only option was to fly home alone across the country. I mean, yes, I could have driven across country, I guess. But that was definitely not practical or feasible or doable for me to do by myself. So I got on the plane with some help of some medication. And at the time, I wasn't taking any daily anxiety medication, but I did have some medication to take when needed. And of course, like a lot of people say, right, I carry this medication with me everywhere I went, but I never actually took it. But for this solo playing trip back home, I took the medication, I had to fly from Utah to New York City and then from New York City to Boston. And it was overnight and I knew that it was going to be incredibly hard and the medication was definitely helpful. And I'm glad that I took it, it was a good decision. And just a quick note here if you take a daily anxiety medication or if you take something like Ativan or Xanax when needed, it's okay. It is not a cop out. Medication is just another tool that can help and support you and you won't always feel like you need it. So this solo trip home for Christmas was really hard. It was hard, but just like the trip to New York, I had good moments. I had memories. I was so so happy that I went home to see My family. But when I flew back to Utah, I was like, I do not want to do that for a while. So for a bit, I took a break from flying. And instead of flying, I would convince Adam to take road trips and drive everywhere. Like, even though it was most usually not practical. And we would have to like drive long distances. And driving was nearly just as hard for me the thought of getting back on a plane, I was like, No, I do not want to. So I took a bit of a break. But then I remember feeling like, this is so silly, like driving is just as hard. And why am I doing this, like I've, I've got to get back on a plane, because there are so many places I want to go. And I have friends and family that live all over. And so I just started doing it again. And we went to Mexico, we went to Texas, we went to North Carolina and Missouri and we went back to New York City. And I also even took a solo flight to Maryland. And I'm not gonna lie. So many of these flights and trips were incredibly hard. Like I hated flying. I always felt trapped. I always braced myself for a panic and ever really experienced a panic attack. But I also had many really good memories from these trips. And they weren't just all shit, because anxiety was very present for all of them. So I'm not going to go into detail right of every flight that I've ever taken. Because I don't want to bore you. But I know you might be wondering, okay, Shannon, what the heck does flying look like for you now. And I know that this is gonna sound crazy, like real crazy. But trust me, nowadays, I drive to the airport, I go through security, I wait in lines, I get on the plane, I fly, all without feeling anxious or experiencing panic. Like, it still kind of blows my mind. And I'm so incredibly grateful. And in fact, just a few weeks ago, I took a trip with just me and my five year old Amelia. And before we boarded the plane, I even got a coffee because I really wanted a coffee, which is something I never would have done before because caffeine and flying my goodness, no. But I did that flight. And I did that trip with her. And it was so good. And we had so much fun. And just within the last five years, I have flown to England and Aruba, and Florida in New York City multiple times, and Arizona and, and so many other places. And I know you might be feeling like Shannon, that's great for you. But like I there is no way I'm ever gonna be able to do that. Like, it is so hard for me to do everyday things. And it's, I can't even imagine getting on a plane. And I know how you're feeling. I know maybe it feels like you'll never fly again. Or you'll never fly without feeling anxious or experiencing panic. And I know it all feels impossible and scary and overwhelming. But you will get to a place where flying isn't so hard. And you will get to a place where a lot of my students have gotten to where they send me a message with photos and they say, Shannon, I can't believe I'm saying this. But I got on the plane and it wasn't bad at all. And I actually enjoyed my trip. And that was just one of the coolest things that I get to experience. And I know you're probably thinking, of course like how like, how did you do this shit? And
how did your students do it? Like, how the heck do I do this. So I want to share some tips with you in this episode that are going to be incredibly helpful. But I want to encourage you if you're really feeling ready, like actually ready to stop listening to the anxiety and you're wanting to book a flight or you're wanting to feel more at ease and confident about an upcoming flight. And you're wanting to live bigger and you're planning to take adventures. I want you to take my 90 minute masterclass on overcoming airplane anxiety, because it'll be so incredibly helpful. It gives you so many practical tips and tools and, and the class I teach you all the things I teach you how to relieve the anxiety you experienced before getting on the plane, like how to work through all that anticipatory anxiety. And I teach you how to relieve the anxiety that you experience while you're actually on the plane and how to actually experience peace and enjoyment on the flight. I teach you what it what to do with your thoughts so that they don't cause you to spiral and lead to the symptoms and panic attacks. And I teach you what to do with the symptoms and what to do with panic when it pops up, especially when you're feeling that stuckness and that trapped feeling. I teach you so many practical steps to help you book the flight and feel confident and excited about it. And just get you back to being adventurous and traveling and living. So the class includes all of that and it includes a really helpful q&a that I did with the students that showed up live to the class and it was really good They had really good questions, and we had really good conversation. But right now I want to dive into some practical tips that will be really helpful for you if you have an upcoming trip planned, or if you're wanting to book a trip. So number one, and this is a really big one, you have to let yourself feel anxious about flying. I think this is such a big one that we all lose sight of, we tell ourselves, I can't feel anxious, I shouldn't feel anxious. I know this is a big mistake that I made, especially with that first flight, like it made so much sense that I was anxious, it made so much sense that I felt the way that I did. And I should have just told myself, Shannon, it makes sense that you feel anxious, it's okay that you feel anxious. And I'm going to let anxiety be here. And I'm going to let it come along. So remember, just because you struggle with an anxiety disorder, it doesn't mean that you can never feel anxious. Like there are so many places and situations in which it makes sense that anxiety is popping up. And when you give it space and when you give yourself permission to feel anxious, it really takes those feelings away. And you know, just remember right traveling and flying. It's stressful and it's not super fun. And there are so many components of it that are just overwhelming. So let yourself be human. Let yourself feel anxious about flying. It's okay to feel anxious about flying. Alright, number two, stop putting flying on an airplane on such a dang pedestal. I think we do this with so many things, but especially flying, like we put flying on such a pedestal. Oh my gosh, that's the ultimate. I can't do that. Like I am stuck, I'm trapped. There's no way I can get on an airplane. And the truth is, yes, you are stuck on an airplane, you can't go anywhere. But how is this different from all the other aspects in your life in which you feel stuck and trapped and feel that anxiety and panic. Like the truth is you feeling anxious and panicking at the airport or on the plane isn't going to look any differently than you panicking off of the plane, like how it looks with you feeling anxious or panicking in your car or at home or at the grocery store. Like it's so important to recognize, yes, you're stuck. But you felt incredibly stuck in many places in situations, and you've always worked through it. And another big thing to recognize is, yes, you're stuck. But a lot of the stuckness that we we experience is created internally, not externally. When you really work to recognize you're creating stuckness based off of how you're responding to your thoughts and your feelings and the stories that you're creating and what you're telling yourself. Like that's when you can become unstuck. Because you can change your response to your thoughts and feelings. And you can tell yourself different stories. And this is the stuff that I teach you in the master class, which is really, really good. Okay, number three, recognize the reality is, the reality is right, you are going to feel anxious on the plane. And you might even panic. But you cannot and won't panic the entire time. I think we tell ourselves these stories that I'm going to feel anxious the whole time I'm going to panic the whole time, it's never going to end the whole thing is going to be horrible. And the truth is, you will have moments you will have waves of anxiety, you may experience panic, but it will pass it can't stick around forever. And you know, the truth is most usually when people make these trips when they haven't flown in a while and are feeling incredibly anxious about it. And I know this is true for myself. Most usually you get on the plane and you feel a ton of anxiety beforehand. And while sitting there for takeoff, and then it starts to dissipate. And then you have subtle waves of anxiety throughout the flight. But most students and clients that I work with tell me Yeah, it was pretty intense, before takeoff, and on takeoff, and then it really subsided. Or I was expecting to have a whole ton of anxiety and panic, and I didn't like it, it didn't even show up. So you have to recognize the reality is array, it's not going to be full of anxiety and panic, there will be moments where you're not experiencing that. And you have to let yourself just see what it will look like rather than paint all the stories and the pictures in your brain of what it will look like because your brain will always paint the worst possible pictures. Okay, number four, and this is a really important one. Do not wait until the flight to do the work. Like one of the most helpful things in life and in the recovery journey is regulating your nervous system. And when you really work on a daily basis, to do self care and slow down and respond in healthy ways to your thoughts and feelings and you really work to regulate your nervous system and your day to day life. That's what actually helps you do Most for when you're in these moments where things feel like they're at a higher stake. So like when you're driving longer distances or when you get on the plane, so do not wait. You know, this is something I didn't realize, for far too long. I just thought, the key is me taking more flights. If I just get on more flights, if I just go on more trips, that's how the anxiety dissipates. And that's how I get better. And that's how it stopped showing up. And then it's just so far from the truth. Like the work comes in your day to day life. Okay, last one. Number five, you really have to choose courage, right? You have to choose your values. I want to do this, this is important to me. So I am going to be courageous. I am going to allow the anxiety and fear to be here and I am going to do it anyway. Like I told you, I took many flights, while struggling with panic disorder and agoraphobia, because I wanted to travel so badly. And many of these trips were really hard and full of really hard moments. But I kept taking them because they were so important to me. And they gave me something and they actually helped to give me more confidence and more motivation and helped me to see like, yes, anxiety and panic can be here, but but I can do this. And I can still actually have moments where I'm having joy and making memories and just laughing and experiencing all the things I want to experience. So you really have to choose choose to do the things you value and take that anxiety and fear with you. I know it's easier said than done. I know I know. But really how you recover is by focusing on living. So in general, I want you to stop waiting until you feel ready or confident because if you wait for this day, you'll likely be waiting a very long time. Stop putting flying and being on an airplane on such a pedestal. Like if you really are adventurous if you really want to book the flight if you really want to feel more confident. I really encourage you take my masterclass on overcoming airplane anxiety. I'll put the link in the show notes. You will learn so many insights and simple and practical tips and tools that will actually help you to experience more peace and freedom while traveling. And if you're like well this class actually be helpful Shannon, I want you to head to the link in the show notes and check out what other people have had to say, who have actually taken the class and learned from me. And I just want to throw this in here too. If you primarily struggle with toilet anxiety, and this is a big thing that heightens for you on airplanes, and this is a big reason why you avoid them, or why the plane ride is so hard for you. I encourage you to take my masterclass on finding freedom from toilet anxiety. That class will help you not just for planes or trips but in all aspects of your life. Alright, my friend, stop waiting until you feel ready or confident. And until next time, keep taking healthy action. I hope you enjoyed this episode of a healthy push. If you want more, head on over to a healthy push.com for the show notes and lots more tips, tools and inspiration that will support your recovery. And if you're hoping for me to cover a certain topic, be sure to join my Instagram community @Ahealthypush and let me know in the comments what you want to hear next.
