Are You Playing a Role in Your Own Suffering When It Comes to Anxiety Recovery?
- Shannon Jackson
- May 18
- 3 min read
Let’s get honest for a minute—because this conversation might feel heavy, but it’s coming from a place of love and support. When it comes to anxiety, panic disorder, or agoraphobia, there's something that most of us don’t want to hear: sometimes, we unintentionally contribute to our own suffering, making anxiety recovery even more difficult.
This isn’t about blame. It’s about awareness. And awareness is the first step to healing.
How I Realized I Was Keeping Myself Stuck
When I was struggling with panic disorder and agoraphobia, I often convinced myself that healing wasn’t possible for me. I believed things like:
“I’ve had this since I was a kid. I’ll never recover.”
“My anxiety is worse than everyone else’s.”
“Nothing has worked, so nothing ever will.”
Sound familiar?
I blamed outside circumstances, genetics, and lack of support. But deep down, I was stuck in unhealthy patterns—avoiding discomfort, constantly analyzing symptoms, and reinforcing fear through my thoughts and behaviors.
The truth is, healing didn’t begin until I got honest with myself and took responsibility for my own journey.
Common Ways You May Be Adding to Your Anxiety Recovery
Here are some sneaky ways many of us unknowingly make things harder on ourselves:
Over-identifying with anxiety: Saying things like “I’m just an anxious person” reinforces that identity.
Negative self-talk: Telling yourself you're broken, weak, or incapable keeps you stuck.
Avoidance behaviors: Avoiding places, feelings, or situations because of fear only makes the fear stronger.
Seeking constant certainty: Wanting to be 100% sure that nothing bad will happen fuels anxiety.
Seeing yourself as a victim: Believing you have no control takes away your power to heal.
These patterns are common—and they're changeable!
4 Ways to Take Back Control and Stop Contributing to Your Suffering
Healing is possible when you gently shift how you show up for yourself. Here’s where to start:
1. Notice Without Judgment
Start observing your behaviors and thoughts with curiosity instead of criticism. Ask yourself:
Is this helping me or keeping me stuck?
Am I supporting myself in this moment?
Awareness allows you to make intentional, helpful choices.
2. Change Your Inner Dialogue
The way you speak to yourself matters. Try shifting from:
“I can’t do this” → “This is hard, but I’m doing it—and I’m proud of myself.”
Kind, compassionate self-talk creates space for healing and confidence.
3. Face Avoidance with Small Steps
Avoidance feeds fear. Taking small, manageable steps toward what you’ve been avoiding is powerful. Even if it feels messy, trying is a win.
4. Loosen the Grip on Control
Anxiety thrives on the need for certainty. Practice sitting with discomfort and uncertainty. You don’t need to control every outcome—you just need to show up for yourself.
You’re Not Alone—And You Can Heal
You didn’t choose to struggle with anxiety or panic. But you can choose how you respond to it moving forward.
If this resonated with you, and you’re ready to stop doing this alone, I invite you to join my private A Healthy Push community. It’s a safe, supportive space where you’ll get weekly live coaching, encouragement, and real tools to fast-track your healing.
Because recovery doesn’t have to be so hard—or so lonely!
Take my FREE quiz and find out what's blocking your anxiety recovery
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