Anxiety Success Stories: Corrie Works Through Excessive Worry, Fear, Panic, Trauma, & Grief
- Shannon Jackson
- Jun 23, 2024
- 2 min read
Anxiety Success Stories: Corrie Works Through Excessive Worry, Fear, Panic, Trauma, & Grief
On this episode I was so honored to be joined by Corrie, a former Panic to Peace student. Her story is a powerful reminder of how resilient we can be, even when life throws us some major curveballs. I'm always so thankful when students share their journey - and I'm excited to share Corrie's anxiety success story with you!
Early Life and Trauma
Corrie's life has been far from ordinary. She faced significant trauma from a young age, including her parents divorce, and father’s severe car accident when she was just eight. The accident left him with brain trauma and paraplegia. Corrie's family kept a pretty positive outlook, with her grandparents' taking a supportive role in caring for him and making the best arrangements for his care. Even so, the anxiety about future guardianship responsibilities was a worry in the background.
At 19, Corrie's mother revealed that the man she thought was her father might not be her biological parent. This bombshell triggered an identity crisis for Corrie. Her early twenties were chaotic, filled with anger and confusion. Corrie did her best to avoid and suppress how she was feeling. Looking back, what she was experiencing was the foundation for the anxiety and panic that showed up later in her life.
Breaking Point & Coping Mechanisms
Eventually, the stress and unresolved trauma eventually caught up with Corrie, turning into full blown panic and anxiety. Everyday activities, like driving or shopping at the store, started triggering panic attacks.
In an attempt to manage her anxiety, Corrie developed various coping mechanisms. She recalls pretending to be on the phone during panic attacks to avoid drawing attention to herself. This behavior, while seemingly helpful in the moment, was just a distraction.
Anxiety was showing up with very physical symptoms. Corrie began to see these symptoms as messages from her body, urging her to rest and take care of herself, a huge contrast to her previous tendency to keep busy and ignore these signs.
The Path to Healing
Combined with the teachings of Panic to Peace and recognizing the significance of addressing unresolved trauma and grief, Corrie has made huge steps to work through excessive worry, fear, panic, trauma, and grief. I am so proud of her!
This is just a snapshot of Corrie's inspirational anxiety success story. Be sure to listen to the full episode for all the wisdom and inspiration shared!
Thinking about joining my 10-week program, Panic to Peace? Get on my waiting list, and when doors open, you'll get early access to the program, a special bonus, and a pretty awesome discount!
Feeling like you've tried everything but you're still struggling with lots of anxious thoughts, symptoms, panic attacks, and fears? Take my FREE 60-minute masterclass today and learn 5 shifts that will actually help you to overcome anxiety, panic disorder, and agoraphobia. And I promise, you won't hear any of the usual stuff from me - like doing breathing exercises, grounding practices, cutting out caffeine, and doing more exposures. Let's get you the peace and freedom you deserve without it being so hard!
Check out my masterclasses here and start experiencing lots more peace, joy, & freedom!
TRANSCRIPT
00:00.00
ahealthypush
Okay, today we have another really cool conversation that I can't wait to dive into these conversations or some of my favorites I have Corey with me and she is a panicked to peace student should say was a panic tv student of mine took the program over this summer and just. Has such an incredible and she says crazy story. So I get out I get out way to dive into it. So Cory welcome to a healthy fresh podcast. Ah I'm so glad you're here I know that this is like you know, uncomfortable all the things but it is so great.
00:25.61
Corrie
Yeah, yeah I has it going.
00:39.16
ahealthypush
That so many of my students are willing like you to come on and share your story and it's so so helpful. So let's just start like I know a little bit about you but let's tell people who the heck is Cory like personal stuff. Maybe.
00:45.73
Corrie
Yeah, what.
00:54.80
Corrie
Yeah, look it personal. Um, so my life is nothing vanilla by any means. Um, so when I was young. Um I've been through a lot of traumas and some you know, really affected me and some just were fine. My dad was involved. My parents had divorced and he was involved in um, a car accident when I was 8 which left him with brain trauma and paraplegic and he lives in a nursing home and there's just still many medical hurdles that he has to overcome. But. That didn't really affect me. It was just something my family even though it happened we were just very grateful that he was still here and I grew up with my grandparents just bringing him home every weekend or e going in the facility and it was just it was positive. It was this very positive experience. Um. I did start to get excessive work because I know when my grandparents pass I'll eventually take guardianship and it's not easy and it's something that eventually will move him from Illinois to be closer to me in Central Wisconsin and that's just a whole you're looking at facilities you want health care and it's just It's a hard world to navigate so pretty much you know you just I've kind of always lived like that like just kind of worrying what is that going to look like for me. Um, yeah, and it's just it's a lot and then right when I was probably.
02:11.11
ahealthypush
Of course.
02:20.60
Corrie
19 or so my mom had sat me down and said your dad is probably not your dad and that just blew my world and it wasn't that my mom was malicious with anything. They were very young when they had me and I think.
02:26.30
ahealthypush
Ah, wow.
02:38.13
Corrie
Because she didn't heal a lot. How can you approach another individual healthy. So It left me with just a lot of anger and confusion and my family's a very big family. So Then all of a sudden My Identities's getting ripped from me because. This whole family in the town I grew up with might not be my family Now. So It just left I was very chaotic then throughout my twenty s just very going out to the bars and I'm angry and just all these emotions that I just didn't know to do with and we didn't come from a house where. It was either explosive where people their emotions would overflow or you just didn't talk about it and I just kind of went to the suppressing route where I didn't want to share it because I didn't want to keep getting hurt by people that loved me and I just I took it as you hurt me and it.
03:16.95
ahealthypush
The math.
03:30.50
Corrie
It was really hard. So for a few years they didn't do anything about it and it wasn't until as around 23 where they finally took a Dna test. So I'm sitting here like just boiling in all these feelings and trauma. Um and it it did I did have shock that I went into and I didn't know this at the time.
03:46.30
ahealthypush
Live.
03:47.91
Corrie
Like I had no clue. This is what I was experiencing so my foundation for anxiety and panic are are starting 2 decades ago from where I was now and it's just slowly built over my twenty s and. Eventually I met him and then I had sisters I grew up with all brothers. So now I have sisters and it just wasn't healthy on anything just on any side. It just it was too chaotic I wasn't healing. These people weren't healed. Ah you can't get a positive outcome.
04:15.49
ahealthypush
Yeah.
04:22.53
Corrie
From that. So um, and then I ended up because everything was so chatic I am now dating people that are horrible. It's that same they say like when women are like I don't even know how I got in this relationship or how I've become. Battered or lost myself that was me and it's just unfortunately um, people can spot that you know these type of men can spot certain type of women and that's where I ended up in Therapy I ended up because of a relationship and then.
04:41.89
ahealthypush
Yeah.
04:57.74
Corrie
Everything My therapist was from my town and he's like I can't tell you the family members I know of yours that have been here but I know what you're dealing with and like the family's kind of messed up in so many words So he he taught me what dysfunction looked like and how to spot it and.
05:07.53
ahealthypush
Um, yeah.
05:16.84
Corrie
Really how to hold boundaries with people that are unhealthy or just unfortunately don't want to heal themselves and I have a lot of family that has a lot of unprocessed trauma and I have to work really hard to maintain like being healthy around these people and that.
05:21.92
ahealthypush
And.
05:35.70
Corrie
Pisses me. Ah.
05:35.10
ahealthypush
Yeah, of course I mean my gosh the the trauma that you experienced right? and then taking this path of I actually want to look at this and I actually want to heal from this and then.
05:40.71
Corrie
Um, yes.
05:52.38
Corrie
Um, yeah, the hair.
05:52.94
ahealthypush
Coming up against you know, family members who are not in that space like that is must have been so hard and still I'm sure is incredibly hard I'm.
05:56.27
Corrie
Yeah.
06:05.19
ahealthypush
Curious it sounds of course like you've had a longer history with anxiety like when did it really when did you first start to recognize it and see it popping up.
06:08.15
Corrie
No.
06:14.75
Corrie
Im really true even though I've gone through this stuff. It wasn't till like 2018 that I like had full blown anxiety I never really had panic yet I had anxiety or I just had really.
06:28.15
ahealthypush
Yeah.
06:29.27
Corrie
Coping skills that were causing these huge stress responses where I was just I pack my schedule and to where I just don't want to stop and I want to keep going and it's avoidance and I'm looking back even though when I was thinking about what we were going to talk about today I was like oh I have really been mastering a voice. And I think those were the problems that were starting to trigger me and I had like I said the excessive worry like what things might look like stuff like that. But it was just tiny little seeds that had not hit the full blown anxiety yet? Um, which I was surprised because I like.
07:02.22
ahealthypush
Yeah, yeah.
07:08.42
Corrie
That's just a small portion still what I've been through with things but it's it finally like the the trauma triggers finally came in 2018 and it just wrecked my whole entire world.
07:21.80
ahealthypush
Yeah, ah, it's so hard I think what what we can withstand like what our bodies and minds can go through and and then it finally gets to a point where it's like Nope I'm sending all the alarms like I can't handle this anymore.
07:25.50
Corrie
Um, must yeah.
07:34.49
Corrie
Yes, yes.
07:38.36
ahealthypush
And I need you to do something What did that look like when your body was like okay I've had enough we can't keep doing this.
07:42.94
Corrie
Yeah, so my husband and we decided to move to central Wisconsin when our son was six months old in the middle of January I do not recommend that in a very small town because why not add more chaos right? but he found a great job and and we wanted to remove ourselves from.
07:51.23
ahealthypush
Oh gosh.
08:01.78
Corrie
We just wanted an adventure you know and we wanted to remove ourselves from our family and so that was looking fine even though I moved everything was fine and it wasn't till my second son came along where um I just we had moved again. So I just gave birth and we moved to our first home. So I'm dealing with all of these. Big events that most people might do once or twice and so after I had my second son that's when I started to fear death I was. Highly convinced that my husband and I who are healthy in our 30 s were going to die in our sleep and I don't know anybody else in this new town and I'm like well how's my older son going to like I would take the baby locks off the fridge and be like well if we died in our sleep.
08:36.89
ahealthypush
Um, maybe anything.
08:47.62
Corrie
Can go in and get the bottle and feed the other baby I mean just things where I was like my hormones were just insane and my second son never s sleptpped like it it to me if I don't get proper sleep I am not the best version of my. I'm not someone who can sleep 5 hours and just pop up and be happy that is not me and can we get like a twelve fourteen hour now yeah so it started with it like fears just in.
09:04.79
ahealthypush
Yeah, same same. Not even like eight or nine hours sometimes some days right.
09:20.45
Corrie
Hands like that. My husband travels and then I would worry like what if something happened what it just these all these what Ifs that were just absurd and then I started getting more sleep. The hormones are dying down and I'm feeling better and um.
09:38.13
Corrie
And then it spiraled again. My husband he he got Ill We weren't sure if he had Lymes we're still it was just he was losing his eyesight and it was really really bad and um.
09:41.69
ahealthypush
E.
09:51.25
Corrie
So then I start worrying about that again, you know and we're living too far from family I shouldn't be doing this that I grew up with so much family like how can I take my kids away and even though I was happy the poll from Illinois and people wanting us to be home and I know it was out of love. You know they miss people but at the same time.
10:03.64
ahealthypush
Um.
10:08.86
ahealthypush
Yeah.
10:09.63
Corrie
It's harmful. You know so there is so stressors of um, just feeling that I was making all the wrong decisions and then am I a good mom for doing this. It's just beating yourself up where it's like they have a healthy environment you can visit to like it. It was. It's.
10:22.39
ahealthypush
Um, and it is.
10:29.49
Corrie
It was a struggle for years. Yeah.
10:30.88
ahealthypush
Yeah I mean it's so amazing though that you recognize that and made that choice because of course being closer to family can sometimes have its you know prose of making things a bit easier but recognizing that might actually be harmful and not just for me. But.
10:40.90
Corrie
Am yep.
10:46.37
Corrie
Yeah, it does yeah and it comes with a cost. You know when you're that close then and we have our hardships raising a family on our own with no one around I mean we've made.
10:48.59
ahealthypush
For my children and my family and that was such a healthy awareness that you had and and choice.
11:05.70
Corrie
Friends are family now. But it's It's a lot of work to put in and it's just in that and this pot was like boiling at this point and my grandparents fell Ill and that my dad was in the hospital because he obviously has a lot of medical issues. So I'm fearing that what this. What does this look like and um, it just it spiral and um, what kicked in the trauma response from 2 decades prior was my biological father is actually adopted So let's just add more to fire.
11:38.99
ahealthypush
Wow.
11:42.54
Corrie
So I felt not only did I not know my identity I I really didn't know my identity everything I grew up with thinking my nationality was and who my family was is taken away and and I did an ancestry test. And when I received the results even though I was excited to do it because I felt like I'm taking control. Um I received them and it was literally a flashback to that moment when I was receiving the Dna test that my dad wasn't my dad and it just.
12:10.40
ahealthypush
Yeah.
12:14.63
Corrie
Lit a fire like I was just not sleeping I'm angry I'm a parent now and I'm looking at the decisions of what my parents inflicted on me and what other family members stood by and let happen and the silence of things. So where my husband and I are very open with our sons like we almost talk way too much or they're like could you stop stop. But we said we're fine, but it's just we didn't come from that So I want to give them that. Yeah yeah.
12:33.47
ahealthypush
A.
12:47.00
ahealthypush
That's so amazing. Like so amazing. You've had so much awareness among experiencing so much hardship and trauma and you know.
12:51.50
Corrie
Um, um.
12:57.65
ahealthypush
Not everyone has that response right? But that's incredible that you're like I saw what I experienced and I don't want that to continue for me but I don't want that for my children and ah gosh you know, right? being a mom is so.
12:58.69
Corrie
Really.
13:05.65
Corrie
Um, leave.
13:12.26
ahealthypush
So tough and there are just so many you know that you're going to mess up but you're like I just hope it's not in these big you know I don't want it to be repeated of what I went through experienced right right? right.
13:12.60
Corrie
Um, yeah, yeah.
13:18.61
Corrie
Way to like I don't want you be in all this therapy and unless you want to better yourself for another reason I Hope it's not me.
13:29.95
ahealthypush
So I'm curious it started it sounds like really with these intense fears and this worry of you know what? if something happens to me what if something happens to my husband this this right lack of feeling a lack of control feeling like I don't like all these uncertainties and it makes.
13:36.79
Corrie
Um, yeah.
13:43.25
Corrie
Um, right? yeah.
13:49.93
ahealthypush
That your brain went there with all of these events that happened it made sense how it sort of Morph did it more or did it sort of continue on with that the theme.
13:54.20
Corrie
Yep, yes.
14:01.67
Corrie
Um, know it morph so then like around that time. Um I came back from Illinois because my grandparents were not doing well and then they were fine eventually. But. Was driving in a snowstorm and I just kept thinking and I was taking my oldest son to a birthday party and I just kept thinking what am I doing here. Why am I living here and I'm just like shaming all these things and then I get to the party and I had my first panic attack and I was for whatever.
14:24.83
ahealthypush
Then.
14:29.27
Corrie
Reason I I got on my phone and I pretended I was on the phone. So now all of a sudden that has become my crutch for the next few years I would pretend to be on my phone I would calm myself down and then I would return. And so it's like a running joke with one of my girlfriends now I'd be like oh my gosh I I pulled out my phone again to pretend I was on the phone because I always thought if I was on the phone I was acting weird. Someone might be like oh she's on the phone. She's not having a panic attack or yeah, right.
14:58.39
ahealthypush
He's totally fine. Yeah yeah.
15:01.13
Corrie
All the lies you tell yourself? Yeah so late and yeah, yeah.
15:03.17
ahealthypush
Yeah, yeah, because you don't want you don't you don't want to be experiencing it never mind have other people witness you experiencing it. It's this constant level rate of shame and yeah, it totally is so.
15:17.67
Corrie
And and I'm trying to avoid everything I know I need to turn around and look in the face and address and at this time I don't know I'm really avoiding like I am just in survival like I don't even know what's going on and. And then it would go away and then I was finding like when I would have to stop at the grocery Store. You know the store started triggering in me if I was way in the back of a store. Well I can't get out fast enough like that started scaring me um, standing in a line.
15:44.50
ahealthypush
B a.
15:51.60
Corrie
Sitting down for a conference like my heart rate would start anything that remotely made me stop I was my pot was just constantly overflowing.
15:58.57
ahealthypush
Yeah I mean I think you are so used to part of it right? I remember like this doing right? like you said if I always keep busy if I'm always doing it sort of doesn't give the emotion the opportunity to pop up.
16:07.57
Corrie
Yep.
16:11.96
Corrie
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:14.66
ahealthypush
And it's the same right with the grabbing for the phone. It's this distraction of like excuse me if I keep myself going I don't have to actually slow down and recognize that this thing is here. Yeah, and and not.
16:24.47
Corrie
There? Yeah yep.
16:29.27
ahealthypush
That right in and of itself is such a big coping mechanism that many people do that if I just keep busy even in day to day right? Then it won't give it an opportunity to rear its head if yeah, yes.
16:34.00
Corrie
Yeah, yeah, oh I'll find a way it will find and that's what I I recognized and it just um and again like you said I kept ignoring it you know and then I'm not. Sleeping um and then it's manifesting in to I'm starting to get like migraine auras where it looks like twinkly Christmas lights in my eyes. So then I'm like oh I'm totally having a stroke like I bet I have a brain tumor like and then then I'm going.
16:55.89
ahealthypush
20 math.
17:06.78
Corrie
Then I'm getting really in the deep end to where like I'm clenching my teeth in my sleep and I knocked my hearing out a little because I slid my disc so I was very like googling that brain tumor like you're gonna die like just my eyes were fatigued because I was on the you know I wasn't admitting that. This is anxiety I am looking for everything else not to heal like my eyes can't be fatigued because I'm not sleeping or I'm on the phone or they're dry. It has to be something else. Um, it just yeah I just went down this rabbit hole of just.
17:36.90
ahealthypush
Yeah, yeah.
17:44.32
Corrie
Telling myself was everything else, but the pain I was feeling.
17:46.76
ahealthypush
Yeah, of course we think too I think when you're so in it right? You also convince yourself and you really do believe on some level like this is not just anxiety like there is definitely something bigger scarier like there's something else going on here.
17:55.47
Corrie
Me writing you.
18:03.30
Corrie
Um, yeah, yeah.
18:05.30
ahealthypush
And it is really hard to say okay like anxiety stress overwhelm All this can have major impacts cause these very real physical symptoms and the thoughts and yeah, but you just you're so stuck on. Um.
18:12.27
Corrie
Yeah, oh yeah.
18:19.42
Corrie
Yeah, yeah, yeah I and I just think where I'm like I just look back and it just you just keep ignoring and in it ignoring and then the panic attacks are coming in more and then you're convincing yourself ooh.
18:22.30
ahealthypush
Let me get away from it. You part of you knows, but you're like mm I don't want to face that. Yeah.
18:32.14
ahealthypush
He.
18:38.24
Corrie
Can't run to target like that's where I have panic attacks where it's like that's your response to a situation to your thoughts to your poor habits and I'm not accepting that it is not target. It is you and and then that's when the ago Agoraphobia started I I started having panic attacks in the car. So I stopped driving.
18:56.40
ahealthypush
He had of.
18:57.86
Corrie
My husband was now driving everywhere. Um going in the grocery store. At one point was just not an option and he's so awesome where he's like make a list I don't care I'll drive you like he just he knows me and he knows what I was dealing with like he just didn't Care. He was just so. Loving and sweet and slightly enabling because he loves me and we love each other and it's just um, even when he would be like just make the grocery list I'll go in that would send me into a spiral because it was everything I wasn't doing and all I wanted to do was get back to who.
19:34.90
ahealthypush
Yeah I.
19:35.19
Corrie
I thought I needed to be and and so you're fighting that as well and it just um, it sucked.
19:43.19
ahealthypush
Yeah, of course I mean it is tough because our loved ones often do enable us because they obviously don't want to see us struggling they want to be able to help and take away the pain and of course both parties don't really recognize in the moment that maybe it's not the healthiest. Um.
19:49.55
Corrie
Right.
19:56.50
Corrie
Right? right? Yep yeah.
20:00.56
ahealthypush
But there is there's room for the support right? There's room for people to be able to help you through the journey. So at this point what are when are we talking like you stop driving. Your husband started taking on more of the stuff like.
20:12.17
Corrie
Yeah, it's around 2018 right after the like finding out the Dna tests like it just chipped away downhill and it just and again I was just overloading me my life and I was.
20:17.89
ahealthypush
Yeah.
20:26.60
Corrie
Like my husband said he was God I Just didn't remember you home at that time I was trying to volunteer everything for my mom's group in the like community like just let me like get out of here and I just couldn't it stopped me one day where my body was like you're dead.
20:31.24
ahealthypush
Any 8
20:42.17
ahealthypush
I.
20:42.85
Corrie
You're done and you're going to listen to me now like because I ignored every red flag and now I see those red flags. My body will give me as messengers like hey maybe you should like totally take a nap today or do yoga or just watch a good show and um.
20:53.23
ahealthypush
Um.
21:00.47
ahealthypush
Um, yeah.
21:01.54
Corrie
Gives us strength you know, even though like at the time I didn't want to sit with myself I I have to sit with those emotions now in order to not repeat history. It's hard.
21:11.81
ahealthypush
Yeah, ah, such a it is It is and it's it's a habit but it's such a good awareness right of your behaviors because you can't change them until you have that awareness So I'm curious was.
21:17.90
Corrie
Um, me right? yeah.
21:25.24
ahealthypush
This like the hardest point for you where you started to recognize like my life is really drinking.
21:27.61
Corrie
Yeah, yeah, there was really hard to where now I had deemed my home. My safe place because that's just what it was and I was fine riding in a car but to drive and do all those things just.
21:34.66
ahealthypush
And.
21:44.96
Corrie
It was just too much for me and um and I did have a kid that would prefer to kick my seat constantly were try so there's natural anxiety or he just screamed all the time when we're in the car. So driving on the highway and the screaming kid kicking that is just bad on a good day.
21:51.96
ahealthypush
Ah.
22:00.94
ahealthypush
Yeah I agree.
22:05.30
Corrie
Ah, um, yeah I know and so those things were amping. It wasn't like that's what was amping the anxiety portion with that and then um it got to the point where if I went on walks I was starting to have panic attacks and I was playing into the tension of my body to where.
22:17.35
ahealthypush
Um, yeah.
22:21.78
Corrie
If I exerted myself that mimicked a panic panic attack. So my brain thought yo we're in danger. Let's just have panic attack randomly on the street and it just you know that started making me stay home and then I started to feeling like a bad mom I'm not taking under the park more I'm not doing this and.
22:22.55
ahealthypush
Can.
22:35.91
ahealthypush
A.
22:41.35
Corrie
And I'm just trying to survive and just riding down the street and back from a neighbor's standpoint. It probably was like Wow look at she's out there. But if I were to cross the street that wasn't happening I needed to stay on my block and just feel safe for the moment. The chaos was just.
22:54.63
ahealthypush
Um, yeah.
22:58.73
Corrie
Too intense and the unresolved trauma that I thought I resolved was not resolved and and I didn't know it at the time and that's the funny thing you can't see the whole pitcher. You're like just tunnel vision and um and I think that's so it sucks.
23:03.40
ahealthypush
A.
23:16.64
Corrie
Is like now I can look back and see the whole picture like what you see for talking I know.
23:17.96
ahealthypush
Right? It's so clear. What was I doing right? Oh yeah I think we all have that experience in so many aspects of life but especially with this really hard stuff. You look back and you're like what was I doing like why? why.
23:24.63
Corrie
Yeah, you.
23:37.64
ahealthypush
But you know when you got to this point I'm curious when you were like okay my body's clearly telling me like no more I I feel like I need to be home or I need to like at least be able to see my home like where the heck did you go from there.
23:42.24
Corrie
Um, yeah.
23:54.16
Corrie
Um, it was the last so and I was able to like come out a little and like maybe like go to dinners and things like that. But it it was like it was like being in a haunted house with the lights on so that's how I lived I was able to like see everything but I had fear.
24:04.20
ahealthypush
And.
24:10.82
Corrie
But I would still get out some days and other days I was like Nope and um and the safety behaviors of I would tell everyone oh yes I'm gonna meet you for dinner I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do that. Well guess So what you look like an asshole when you're like canceling you know and I didn't know this.
24:26.62
ahealthypush
Um, yeah.
24:27.91
Corrie
Would be like I can't make it today and what did that show I was never open to anyone I kept it tightlipped and I just can't help but wonder like if we're vulnerable and tell people like hey I don't know what's going on I'm not the best right now like. How different things could be like I'm learning how to do that now that's hard for me to be open but the vulnerability like it it just it. Um, it can help you along the way and give yourself compassion and um, we had um.
24:47.71
ahealthypush
Um, yeah.
24:59.57
ahealthypush
Um, yeah.
25:04.69
Corrie
We were doing a 5 k race or we were showing up and it was for the nine eleven and ah my our town does it and I had a huge panic attack and I just leaned against my husband. He didn't even know and we're standing there and my heart is going and I sat with it. And then that was the last time where I was like I'm done and I called a therapist and I think my thing was I did not want to be back in therapy I was in it in my late twenty s I loved my therapist and in my late twenty s I did not want to have to repeat the pain to someone else.
25:40.42
ahealthypush
Um, yeah.
25:42.30
Corrie
And to explain how crazy my story is I didn't because I feel like I need to walk in with a board and be like these are the pictures. That's just it because everyone's like wait. What like what do you mean? you have like 3 dads and all of this staff. It's just it hurt it hurt but I was ready to stop.
25:45.54
ahealthypush
Don't live.
25:56.93
ahealthypush
Yeah, yeah, and it it admitting I think part of that too redy I had a similar experience and no others have rate where you're like it still hurts and and I.
26:01.21
Corrie
Like it had to stop. So yeah.
26:10.40
Corrie
Um, yeah, oh yeah, yeah.
26:13.52
ahealthypush
It's uncomfortable that it even still hurts and I don't and I talk about it because I know it's going to still hurt and and and you know your you're really good I'm glad that you're sharing and telling your story because a lot of people. Um, you know have this similar shared experience if I actually did go. Through something pretty traumatic or multiple traumatic events and it sort of led me here. This is sort of why have this really unhealthy relationship with anxiety for others. It's It's not that and it's it's not always trauma. But for many people you know you.
26:37.10
Corrie
Um, yeah, yeah.
26:50.67
ahealthypush
Continue to avoid it. You try to get away from the pain. You run you any coping mechanism you could possibly throw at it. You're like I'm going to throw at it and you finally years later find yourself in the spot of maybe maybe I do actually need to revisit some of that.
26:56.36
Corrie
Um, yeah, yeah.
27:07.30
ahealthypush
And it's not all just about that right? It's also about Okay, how can I build the stuff now in the in the present that's going to help me to work through what I'm currently going through So it's like both but I'm just.
27:07.81
Corrie
Rail.
27:16.24
Corrie
Right.
27:21.43
ahealthypush
I'm so glad that you had this awareness said okay like this is it I'm done I I don't want to play this game anymore and so like did you start finding that you were able to make some healthy shifts or what? ah.
27:26.78
Corrie
Um, what right.
27:35.70
Corrie
Yeah I definitely did I found um and I'll be honest this therapy back in 2019 when I came in was ugly I didn't know how to cry I suppressed everything like.
27:42.35
ahealthypush
1
27:48.41
Corrie
She taught me how to cry like just your basic human things where I just that wasn't me feelings. Yuck Don't want to deal with them I see him good or bad and I only want one.
27:56.27
ahealthypush
Yeah.
28:00.68
Corrie
At That point. Um, but yeah, things started lessening. My husband would take me to therapy because it was too much for me to say I'm going to drive and then I'm going to deal with these emotions and again he didn't Care. He's like I'll work from the car who cares like and it was down the street like he just made it. Easy on me with that and then as I'm like getting in and talking about my story. Um, it's lessening like my my emotions are lessening I'm starting to drive there more showing up to places and and really why I went into Therapy was I wanted. To stop the Anger I wanted to stop being so mad at how my mom delivered the message and how the failed relationship with my biological father. It just I felt that unfortunately he chose to drink.
28:43.69
ahealthypush
I.
28:56.32
Corrie
It was just his lifestyle and he was high functioning. It felt like that was chosen over me and then there was this message that I'm not good enough or maybe I'm not lovable because you sought me out and then you chose that route and where I grew up in a house where yeah, my parents drank but. They didn't really drink like it just that wasn't excessive so that those messages were skewed within me and um so during there I Just um I wanted to heal that and I had no intention of really reaching out to him. Um I wanted to heal the. The ancestry stuff I would find myself. It's a very easy hole to go down when you're on ancestry and and it can be fun if you're healthy with it where you're finding old documents and pictures and doing stuff like that. But I can become obsessive because I want to heal that portion of me so I will work. Work and work and work until it's done and you can't do that. But I'm I'm beginning to see you can't do that.
29:57.97
ahealthypush
Yeah, it's I'm glad you said that because many people have this idea that if I just keep going at it if I force it I can just get through this and this wrap it up. This isn't a problem anymore and.
30:05.30
Corrie
Me yep.
30:14.34
Corrie
Yes, yes.
30:17.37
ahealthypush
Unfortunately, that forcing that really going at it just creates even more overwhelm and stress and anxiety and those signals that your body's like hey.
30:22.61
Corrie
yeah yeah I know and I would have to recognize that and I would put myself when I was doing the ancestry. Um I found I did better in the morning. So I would be off by like you know the kids would go to school and then I'd be off by noon. But if I started anytime afternoon I would obsessively want to do it all night and it's like so I had to find ways that worked for me healthy and I had to only do it a few times and because it was stirring up emotions still to where.
30:46.28
ahealthypush
Yeah.
30:54.32
Corrie
Who is this family and you know when my dad was adopted. He was only adopted to towns over so it's very close to where I grew up and I'm like O I hope I didn't date a cousin like that would be very fitting right? Yeah but like it would be very.
31:07.60
ahealthypush
Yeah, right.
31:11.58
Corrie
Betting for my story obviously not made a cousin but like those are things in my head that I was fearful of and um I eventually I eventually reached out to him and.
31:15.36
ahealthypush
Ah, yeah.
31:25.84
Corrie
It had just been on my mind and when I was ready I did it and um I told him I don't know what I want with this I have a ton of questions I am pissed and I also needed him to know when I Also. Had reached out years prior in an email like I kind of just ghosted him I was pissed still I was very angry and I had every right to be and I just needed him to know like I was like I'm in Therapy I don't just up and walk out of people's lives I need you to know that and I have questions now and what happened next. I had no intention of but we started building a relationship and he was very him in his later years in his sixty s was so much better than when I met him in his forty s and he had now had remarried and had 2 stepdaughters and they had a bunch of kids. So I Think. In a way he was gifted to see what a family looked like because he was adopted and an only child and I just don't know he didn't heal from finding that stuff out either. So By this point I have a little more compassion and understanding to see.
32:22.46
ahealthypush
Mean.
32:36.90
Corrie
What he went through. It didn't really it doesn't give a him an excuse to way he treated me but I I was able to see a little more and um and we worked at it for a while I didn't let him in my life to see my sons at aux I needed to know like you're Staying. Or you're going and that's okay, but you don't get to come into my family like I'm very barred up because of what I've been through and I'm very pro-therapy and pro you know,? whatever they need. But um, it worked and.
32:54.84
ahealthypush
Um, yeah.
33:09.83
Corrie
I sat with my therapist and I was like I now have to tell my boys that I have a dad that they have no idea about and I do not want to make the same mistakes that were inflicted on me with the trauma and luckily my therapist someone in her office had a book called invisible string. So it's about this invisible string. All you just picture it like if someone lives in Florida or someone here and it's just all the love that we get to experience and how everyone lives far away and so I read them the book and I was talking about it just kind of prepping them for a week or 2 and then one day I just came out and explained it I let them. Have as many questions. Yeah, they were very confused but I thought so-and-so so was your dad or what this person or you know and I had to explain like I was hurt and I do get mad at Grandma and it is painful and to me that was huge because I never got that and you know so. Um, kids are resilient and we eventually built a relationship and I over the course of so this was like 2019 rape for covid hit. So.
34:09.50
ahealthypush
Yeah, so resilient.
34:25.16
Corrie
Up until 2022 like we had gone on vacations our very first vacation. Um, they all of a sudden met like my step sistersors. There's 11 kids and there's cousins and we're going to the lake and they came up here to go skiing and everything is healthy and and unfortunately my step mom had cancer at this time.
34:35.51
ahealthypush
I have.
34:44.91
Corrie
She had been dealing with it for a long time and um, it just things were good I had healthy boundaries I Knew how to not be manipulated now because unfortunately my parents kind of like to be well I didn't know like they're very victim related where I'm like. I'm not but I'm like yo like I'm the one you guys did this too and I'm cleaning up your masses like it's very codependent unfortunately of myself being like how can I fix everything and and that becomes an issue too.
35:04.83
ahealthypush
Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, but Gosh Dang you're so amazing for.
35:20.15
Corrie
So.
35:22.34
ahealthypush
Doing all this work and and allowing your boys to ask the questions and to talk about the emotions and to really go on this journey with you in a very healthy way that you made sure was healthy for everyone I'm curious like.
35:27.10
Corrie
Yeah, um map.
35:34.46
Corrie
Yeah.
35:39.67
ahealthypush
Do you feel like healing some of this hurt and the pain and the anger helped to also heal some of the relationship with anxiety.
35:51.11
Corrie
Oh yeah, yeah, and and it was um, recently with my new therapist now. Um she had explained to me because and we'll get to the point why I'm in grief therapy but she explained everything I've gone through.
36:08.60
ahealthypush
A.
36:08.17
Corrie
Is actually Grief. It is not like generalized anxiety. There's this book I'm reading that's called anxiety I think it's the fifth stage of grief and unfortunately when they wrote the grief books they were writing about patients that were typically passing from Illness. Or cancer things like that it wasn't necessarily about people here on Earth still dealing with the loss of things and grief is so much more than a person passing. It's you know the loss of jobs the moving the the dreams we thought we were going to have. It's.
36:37.96
ahealthypush
By yeah.
36:45.91
Corrie
Things we didn't get to say it's just so much and um I think that my grief anxiety The triggers are fear-based thoughts to where like general anxiety is just general worries. So once she told me then I just started reading this book.
37:02.19
ahealthypush
Um, yeah.
37:05.13
Corrie
And like this is me like oh my gosh. How come no one ever found this out for this I'm very grateful for my my therapist because now when I look back and think about you know panic doesn't come out of nowhere a lot of us think that until we start healing it.
37:07.70
ahealthypush
Yeah.
37:22.90
Corrie
And it's the pot that's overflowing and what word what thoughts were allowing to be loud and sticky and I know you've talked about that in the class and um I had start having the panic attacks again and I was like it's the thought of it was the motions I wasn't getting out. And it was the grief components because as I'm healing. Yes I'm getting better but there's more work that has to be done and I'm going to keep doing it because I want to be better, but um.
37:53.50
ahealthypush
Yeah.
37:58.55
Corrie
But it did it is I healed this trauma like it has lessens so much and um and even with my ancestry. It's my dad. My grandfather would have been my father's father did not have to be named on the birth certificate. So back in the 50 s they could be like you know. They didn't have to do those things so to find I'm like piecing together all this stuff and I finally hooked up with this woman who does volunteer work. She is a forensic police officer. So when they put Dna that they have at a crime scene together. They use ancestry to create these family trees and this is kind of how they find the bad guy so she's like I do this so I can build my skill pretty much so she was able to help me with the information I didn't have and.
38:39.35
ahealthypush
Please.
38:50.45
Corrie
And build all this and in return I was able to meet cousins and we like joke on social media now like they were excited to help me I found out sad stories of why my dad was adopted and and so there was grief in there as you cry through this whole thing and um.
39:04.10
ahealthypush
Yes.
39:09.88
Corrie
But I was able to heal a lot of that and I still have to be careful I still go on and sometimes I'm like oh my God who's this new person but does it ever end like what is wrong with this family. Um, you know it's so yeah, like it's It's a rabbit hole of itself. But and I was able to heal that and help my dad he he did ancestry with me which helped me even more and and he was terrified to do it because he never faced any of his staff. So I'm grateful that he did that for me because it helped. Heal those missing components and identity within myself.
39:44.25
ahealthypush
Um, yeah I need you I mean a lot of that is like a need right? I need to know who I am I need to know where I come from it. It can feel very ooh like I Die there's so much I don't know and that is so so scary and uncomfortable I I think.
39:50.39
Corrie
Um, yes, yeah.
39:54.55
Corrie
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Oh yeah.
40:03.72
ahealthypush
Just want to assure you and others right? many of us feel like what the hell is wrong with my family like what what else could possibly come out of the woodworks. Yeah, but I think you sharing this I Love that we're talking about this because I think a lot of times. Anxiety can be. From a lot of the things that can manifest right from a lot of the things that we're running from and a lot of the things that we're avoiding and whether it's anger pain sadness grief like all these things you know sometimes for lots of people when you heal that it does heal a big part of the anxiety.
40:24.98
Corrie
Yeah, and.
40:40.82
Corrie
Yep.
40:42.73
ahealthypush
And it's not to say right? You don't have some leftover because of course you're going to because you've had these habits and these behaviors that you've been practicing for so long that your brain needs to learn how to approach these things differently. So it's just like those two I talk a lot right about those 2 things have to come together. It's not just one or the other. But.
40:44.72
Corrie
Right? Oh yeah. Yeah.
40:59.90
Corrie
Yep.
41:01.89
ahealthypush
I'm curious when you came across panage fees like why because you had started therapy you were on this journey. What what was the thing like most people are like I felt like something was missing.
41:05.88
Corrie
Yes.
41:11.27
Corrie
Well, again, well for me like when I started therapy in 2019 I think I had ended around 2021 somewhere around there. So like usually when you're ending therapy. You might see your therapist like once a month check in things like that and. Everything was really good and then um, my and I wasn't fully healed. It was still in the back of my mind and I really liked my therapist son but she was very young and I don't there are some things that like looking back I'm like I should have been healed over that but she taught me compassion and other things I'll take from that. Um, but my step mom eventually passed and it was in the end of may june yeah June 2022
41:55.95
ahealthypush
Um, thanks.
42:03.85
Corrie
Um, and we were on our way to Illinois my stepsisters called me and they're like if you guys can get here like hospice is saying like she's not going to make it and we are 10 minutes out and and we said our goodbyees on the phone she passed and so I was able to get to the house and I was there with my dad and stepsisters and she was still there and.
42:08.27
ahealthypush
Um, me.
42:22.16
Corrie
Said our goodbyes that way and and I just started to worry. This was my dad's second wife from passing from breast cancer and I just don't think he had much left in him anymore. So my anxiety started coming now. What is everything going to look like.
42:36.75
ahealthypush
Is.
42:40.26
Corrie
And I had just been doing so from what I thought well and I'm like what is this gonna look like what what's dad gonna do am I gonna be pulled in this direction and what are we gonna lose our steps sisters are they not gonna be around so now all this stuff that I created again is exploded in my face. And you're still trying to be a parent and you're still trying to live your life and all of this stuff so I was like you know what? I I had text my old therapist and now there's a wait list because of Twenty Twenty like covid everybody and which is great. You know everybody should get health right? heal right.
43:08.77
ahealthypush
Move. Yeah, yeah.
43:17.45
Corrie
So I get myself on a waitlist there and then a couple other places and then I have followed you on Instagram for a while and I just loved how like if I can make light of something and just laugh and it allows me to step out of being so. Serious and like I just loved your clips like that and in your podcast I was like oh my gosh you're having a class come up I think you had like an extra pop-up class I like I'm in like this is cheaper than therapy like you know like this was gonna be so much cheaper I'm like this is awesome and you taught.
43:44.88
ahealthypush
So cool. Ah.
43:53.20
Corrie
So many amazing toasts like my favorite is just when things get heightened and you're like just pause or ress and that's hard for me and because I'm an avoider. So that means I want to run so and when I can pause. It's good and and obviously.
43:57.73
ahealthypush
M.
44:04.39
ahealthypush
Yeah, get.
44:10.45
Corrie
From all the trauma I'm very what if like I feel like if I can assess the situation of worst case scenario then I am safe and that is not up. It is so even when you taught like instead of what if even if even if. And it calms me down and sometimes I'll write it on my hand like if I'm nervous about something like even if then step away like you're not going to spiral and I think people that have been through panic and agoraphobia and all that at least for me I fear going back to that place because it's very dark and I.
44:42.54
ahealthypush
I.
44:46.65
Corrie
Don't ever want to be there and it's scary. It's scary I don't want to live there at all. So yeah, yeah.
44:49.83
ahealthypush
And yeah, of course not and and knowing having lived it right? and I think being on this journey and what I encourage people all the time right? is you can only the only place that we have control is right now we don't have it in the the past we don't have it in the future like we can't. Prevent. We can't Control. We can't and and we don't need to but you know what you are saying with the what if it's like this is what our brains do this is sort of how they think right that they're helping us is by assisting us with let's let's problem Solve Let's let's.
45:11.68
Corrie
Right.
45:23.17
Corrie
Um, yeah, yeah.
45:25.57
ahealthypush
Down all those rabbit holes like let's make sure we're being helpful and oftentimes we see that as being so unhelpful and like something that we need to do something about and a lot of it's like recognizing your brain's doing what it does and just allowing it and and not.
45:40.48
Corrie
Um, enough.
45:43.31
ahealthypush
Jumping down the rabbit holes with it. But you know I think this for you right? these themes that sort of keep popping up that are really hard are are uncertainties like now this event happened. There's so much uncertainty and of course as humans.
45:48.81
Corrie
Yeah.
45:57.84
Corrie
Um, right right? and exactly and unfortunately the beautiful thing about life is the unknown and I love that.
45:59.15
ahealthypush
None of us like uncertainty but with the experiences that you've been through. Of course you're like no no, no, no no I have to know.
46:11.42
ahealthypush
And when.
46:14.96
Corrie
But then at the same time. That's also a trigger for me. So I'm I'm trying to find the gray zone with that right now that I'm going through um and and yet you like your class. It's awesome. I was getting out and doing stuff I I hadn't been on the highway for a long time. My my husband had a big. Surgery and I drove him home from madison on the highway. Yes I was heightened but I did it I did the two half hour drive and you know I'm running around the stores and yeah, my son is like now we're doing like travel soccer and so we're just like life is like I'm like okay like things are going good and.
46:36.21
ahealthypush
Yeah.
46:52.61
Corrie
And little did I know my obviously my step mom passed at the end of may and then I had seen my dad in October and he did not look well and I was in town for a wedding and I just was like you're gonna die, you're going to die and.
47:02.10
ahealthypush
Um.
47:12.44
Corrie
It was the last time he had seen him in October and then his birthday's coming up next a week and then three days later he died. Um I received a phone call from the icu we were able to get back down to Illinois to be by his bedside and um.
47:31.15
ahealthypush
Yeah.
47:31.66
Corrie
I was pissed I was so mad that did you know did you take care of yourself. Did you? How could you leave and then at the same time in my head and this is a dark thought I was like just go just go.
47:38.90
ahealthypush
Man there.
47:47.60
ahealthypush
Man.
47:49.80
Corrie
And then I was mortified that I even had a thought like that and I do a lot of meditation and I was like I just wanted him to go because I wanted the paint to stop. It wasn't like I musically wanted you to go and then um.
47:55.86
ahealthypush
Yeah I have.
48:03.32
Corrie
Because he left me everything I was the executor. So now this meant I have homes to homes that I'm having to clean out I'm running back and forth to illinois my grief is now going on the back burner because it's business mode. We have. Home stick clean and just realtors to meet with and then come back to Illinois and then we're trying to attend school functions for the kids and then go back and the kids are not understanding how they just lost 2 grandparents like at all or I was like oh my god I need like all the therapy like this.
48:37.59
ahealthypush
Yeah.
48:40.26
Corrie
Not cutting it anymore and um, it just it was hard. You know I think when you go and it's an honor to be an executor to someone and it's also heartbreaking because for me, there was still a lot of unhealed stuff I was didn't even get to like we just.
48:56.40
ahealthypush
Um, if.
48:58.99
Corrie
Got our relationship for the first time and and I worked very very hard to make it healthy and um, just every time I'd walk into his house. The anger was coming back I just wanted to take a baseball bat to everything like I was like I hope this place.
49:13.54
ahealthypush
Manly.
49:15.21
Corrie
Burns down because I don't have to deal with this like I was looking for anything to get me out of this and it just didn't happen and it's hard because sometimes you find you learn more about the deceased when you have to start going through stuff than you do when they're living and I think that.
49:34.35
ahealthypush
I.
49:34.86
Corrie
Was starting to hurt me all the stuff I didn't know all the pictures I was boxing up all of the yearbooks all of the stuff I'm reading now and it just it hurt. Yeah, it just and then I'm dealing with lawyers and then I have an estranged sister come out of the woodwork starting fights. And like then I'm like ish and then I'm planning a service like it's just when I look back on last year I'm like I don't even know how I don't even know how like my husband again like he carried us we all I mean I just don't know how. Went through this and it just um, everything's at my house now and we had yeah u-hauls dropping stuff off and and I think I had my first panic attack on mother's day weekend so he had passed in October and I just kept trucking trucking trucking. My husband had a big surgery through that I am not implementing like.
50:23.88
ahealthypush
Now.
50:30.15
ahealthypush
Wolf.
50:31.50
Corrie
Self-care at all and this is what I'm seeing like I start getting in this like busy mode and the self-care goes away I'm not sleeping and when I do sleep I pass out from exhaustion to wake up at two a M just to like cry.
50:38.00
ahealthypush
Indeed.
50:47.52
Corrie
You know I'm sad now I'm very very sad and um, we had sold the last house his house that he had been in forever and we you know you want to honor people and just like would they want this family to be in there and I took.
50:47.76
ahealthypush
Um, and.
51:04.97
ahealthypush
Um, even if.
51:06.33
Corrie
Ah, couple thousand off because there was this like it was hard but it just felt like I was being guided. You know, like on the universe and him like this family came in and I was like you're it like this house. This serves the energy of kids and love and and no more illness.
51:11.29
ahealthypush
A.
51:18.72
ahealthypush
Ah.
51:25.12
Corrie
And um, it just ah so I had sold the house we closed on like a Thursday and then by Sunday I had you know your body just broke away I was at my son's game and I was walking with him I thought I was fine with this great I'm doing great I'm ignoring everything right? This is.
51:41.29
ahealthypush
Yeah.
51:43.89
Corrie
And gonna get to me and I just felt it like I felt off like and it's hard to you know when you have anxiety or panic like it's a slip of the eye or a surge in the body. It could have been blood sugar because I didn't really eat or too much coffee and then I I was like it's back and then.
52:01.91
ahealthypush
Um, if you.
52:02.48
Corrie
And to that and then it started again and that's where I was like I have to go to grief Therapy This is more than just anxiety and needing tools like this now is going to become a problem and then it did again. Yeah.
52:10.35
ahealthypush
Nice. Yeah, of course and it made Sense. You know made sense. It came up the way it did you know I think this tendency right to want to avoid and unfortunately is something you learned really early on in your childhood of like avoid avoid and suppress and then you know.
52:20.79
Corrie
Yeah.
52:29.67
Corrie
Um, oh yeah.
52:34.31
ahealthypush
When you have these losses and especially your dad that you just you want to take a baseball bat to everything because of course it seems like it would be easier than facing everything that you're going to have to face but it's recognizing too that facing all of that.
52:35.63
Corrie
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
52:52.97
ahealthypush
Is actually where you're going to get that piece that you've been searching for for quite some time and it's not easy though is not easy but I am so proud of you for making so many healthy decisions like you're so this is why I say right? people come in. They take the program and I'm like.
52:56.50
Corrie
Um, yeah, no yeah.
53:11.18
ahealthypush
1 of the biggest things that I say and I try to emphasize is you are the biggest key in and your healing journey. You have to listen to you. You have to figure out what works well for you? What doesn't work. Well for you, you need to build that trust within yourself, you need to give yourself what you need. That's.
53:16.57
Corrie
Right.
53:27.95
Corrie
Right? The name.
53:30.53
ahealthypush
That's where the healing happens. It's not in all the other things that we wish because it would maybe be easier if we could just reach out and grab something or do something or all the all the coping mechanisms and fixes and it's like it's not not it.
53:45.58
Corrie
Nope nope and I am I am finding and and I do I was avoiding because like you're you're dealing with stuff from the home and selling stuff that I'm calling like closing is a counts down and stuff like that and it's like. I get frazzled to where like I can't think I'm like filling out forms the other day and I'm like just stop pause and then Joe was with me and we went through it and then I was done and I'm like but okay I felt icky for a minute.
54:07.68
ahealthypush
Um.
54:15.40
Corrie
And now that was done and it's back in the mail and I'm sending it to the state for staff and it's just um, it was just constantly old wounds. You know like how many times you have to pull at the desk to forget how many times do I have to explain that like just I just.
54:22.48
ahealthypush
Yeah.
54:32.84
Corrie
I have a whole new view of how like I want to when I pass and how I want to make things you know so and I try to find those gifts in that I mean we're all going to pass away and I'm trying to find the gifts and what I'm experiencing but I have to sit with my grief and it's so silly because I'll be like walking around like. Okay I am sad you can cry I'm like I'm like 43 telling myself what emotions? Ah yeah.
54:55.87
ahealthypush
Oh I do the same. You know me I shared not in the class it sound. It's like the silliest things right? that people give you and teach you and it was one of my friends that said Shannon when I'm feeling a certain emotion I just have to call it out.
55:04.90
Corrie
Next? yeah.
55:14.10
ahealthypush
And I have to let myself feel it and I was like okay that obviously is not anything like earthshattering and it sounds really silly, but it is so helpful. It's so helpful that I do it too and I'm like I don't care how old you are I will have to do it for the rest of my life and it's It's actually very helpful.
55:14.64
Corrie
Um, yeah.
55:18.98
Corrie
Right.
55:31.32
Corrie
It is you allow it in and I think when I recognized when I was having surges of anxiety um like my therapist and obviously I'm in Therapy now. But and we do a lot of emdrs which is like the I rapid movement to heal the um. Saying or the lack of processing through my Traumas and it has been amazing and it's really helping but when I recognize now like hey this isn't Anxiety. It's grief and then my body is like oh thank you like in.
55:50.89
ahealthypush
My.
56:03.16
Corrie
Because I'm like oh what's wrong I'm like it's anxiety like you were or a grief you were thinking about X Y Z like it's not admitting. You're having grief for certain emotions. Just really helped your body's happy at least mind gets happy. Yes.
56:12.63
ahealthypush
Yeah, yeah, your body's like right? Your body's like thank goodness you're finally listening right? right? Oh my gosh Corey your story is.
56:21.19
Corrie
Thanks for listening after decades. Yeah.
56:28.20
Corrie
Um, yes, the pace. Yeah yeah.
56:28.77
ahealthypush
Not crazy. It's really beautiful. There's full of like there's so many twists and turns but it's beautiful and there are so many people that have experienced what you've experienced and you being able to be vulnerable and share it and I just appreciate you so much and you have so much strength and wisdom and you're just.
56:42.30
Corrie
You.
56:47.15
ahealthypush
So amazing and the healthy decisions that you continuously make while really being in it. It just shows. Yeah, it's hard but you are so so capable and I just I'm so glad that you're continuing to give yourself the support. You need it and we all need it.
56:55.78
Corrie
Um, it's hard.
57:01.59
Corrie
Yeah, yes.
57:06.23
ahealthypush
And so I'm just curious. You know if somebody is in a really hard spot where they're maybe grieving or trying not to grieve really like feeling like this is everything is pouring over what would you say to that person.
57:12.60
Corrie
Um, the.
57:16.16
Corrie
Um, yeah, um, it's time to heal. You have to heal and whether that for me, it's therapy I like the one on one talking. Um, it helps me.
57:24.15
ahealthypush
Yeah.
57:33.85
Corrie
I Love reading I think finding books on that taking a course like yours as well. You just really have to do it and I think people also need to understand. It's a relationship. It's a relationship with your instructor. It's a relationship with your therapist and if you don't like it. It's okay, you can find someone else and I think.
57:43.11
ahealthypush
And I.
57:53.71
Corrie
We have to recognize that and don't give up if you didn't jive with that first one It's just means someone better is going to come along. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
58:02.18
ahealthypush
Yeah, ah what you just said, it's time to heal like gosh dang. so so good so good all right thank you Cory this has been such an amazing conversation I just appreciate you so much.
58:12.65
Corrie
Thank you? Yeah I appreciate you and your class. Thank you.
