Agoraphobia: What It Is and What It Looks Like to Struggle With It
- Shannon Jackson
- Dec 31, 2023
- 19 min read
Updated: Jan 10
Let's be real, agoraphobia is a disorder that is very misunderstood. Lots of people think that agoraphobia is simply the disorder that prevents you from leaving your house. But the reality is that there are lots of people struggling with agoraphobia who leave their homes all the time! In fact… the percentage of people who are struggling with agoraphobia and are also housebound is far less than those who are struggling with agoraphobia and go outside of their homes. But more importantly, there is so much more to agoraphobia than simply having a hard time doing things outside of your home! And that’s why it’s so important to talk about what agoraphobia is and what it actually looks like. So let’s get into it!
Agoraphobia: What It Is and What It Looks Like to Struggle With It
What is Agoraphobia?
When people ask me about agoraphobia, this is how I like to explain it to them: it’s a disorder in which you have a hard time going places or doing things because you fear how you might feel when you do. Often people who struggle with agoraphobia worry about experiencing an overwhelming amount of anxiety or panic and being in a place or situation in which they fear they can’t handle it. They worry something awful might happen: either a fear coming true, embarrassing themselves, or just being very uncomfortable.
Lots of people who struggle with agoraphobia have places where they feel safer, and they tend to stick to these places because they experience little to no anxiety there. Sometimes it’s home, being near home, work, or other places they go frequently. This is what is often referred to as a “safe zone”. Being outside of your safe zone is often really anxiety-producing, and oftentimes when you push yourself outside of it, you feel anxious and quickly move back into your safe zone, which can feel like an instant relief.
For some people, struggling with agoraphobia looks like being able to go anywhere or do anything as long as they have their safe person or safe object with them. For others, it might look like being completely housebound. I’ve worked with many people who struggle with agoraphobia and have been housebound, sometimes for years. I’ve also worked with many people who struggle with agoraphobia and travel all over and can even get on an airplane and travel with no issues, but if you ask them to drive a certain distance away from their home alone, or go into a grocery store, it would be incredibly hard. I’ve also worked with many people who don’t really have a safe zone, and everything feels incredibly hard for them because they experience a lot of anxiety and panic in all places and situations.
Agoraphobia might look like…
Always worrying about experiencing an overwhelming amount of anxiety or panic
Wanting to stay home but also wanting so badly to go out and enjoy doing things
Feeling jealous of “normal” people
Bailing on plans often and feeling disappointed in yourself, and feeling bad because you feel like you’ve also disappointed others
Wanting to share what you’re struggling with but also worrying that people will think you’re crazy
Constantly worrying that the symptoms would lead to a panic attack, losing control, or a trip to the hospital
Not feeling at peace anywhere because the chaos is often in your head
Feeling anxious and panicking and usually tried to hide it
Being afraid that you might not be able to financially support yourself and take care of yourself
Feeling so angry about missing out on opportunities and just life in general
Feeling as though you’re weak, incapable, and dependent on others to do the simplest things
Not believing in yourself
What Causes Agoraphobia
I think it’s really important to highlight that the triggering situations and symptoms that come along with agoraphobia aren’t what causes it. Oftentimes people who are struggling might think that a particular place or situation is the cause because it’s where they experience the most anxious symptoms. Yes, there are triggers, but they aren’t the cause. I always say… it’s not the place, situation, or even sensation that’s leading to the anxiety and panic, so avoiding things and places isn’t going to help any (although it feels like it does in the short term). It’s so important to be aware of what’s actually leading to panic attacks and fears!
Here are a few things that might cause someone to struggle with panic attacks and agoraphobia:
Overwhelming stress (accumulation of stress, life events, big life changes - even happy ones!)
A lack of self-care
Feeling anxious and resisting and fighting it
Not having a healthy response to your thoughts and feelings
Continued avoidance of your feelings and avoidance of facing the hard stuff
Trauma
When people come to me because they’re finally fed up and they want to stop managing anxiety and instead create a healthy relationship with it, I say let’s do it! But the first step is becoming aware of what’s actually causing a lot of the anxiety/panic and being honest with yourself about where the problems lie. It’s tough stuff to become aware and get honest with yourself, but that’s where the healing happens!
I hope this has given you some insight into what agoraphobia is, and has helped you to feel seen and validated. I know it’s such a hard thing to struggle with, but I want you to know and hear me on this… Agoraphobia is something that you can recover from. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to you and your mental health, but you are absolutely capable of living a life of peace and joy!
If you’re ready to create a healthy relationship with anxiety and overcome panic attacks and agoraphobia, check out my 10-week program Panic to Peace. Over the course of ten weeks, I guide you and support in creating a healthy relationship with anxiety. Aka - I teach you how to get the thoughts, the symptoms, panic, and fears to stop popping up and making all of the decisions for you, and I help you to actually start LIVING your life and experiencing lots more peace, joy, and freedom. The doors will be opening again in January 2024. If you're interested in joining, make sure to jump on my waiting list to get early access to the program, as well as a special discount!
Until next time, keep taking healthy action!
TRANSCRIPT
Welcome to A Healthy Push Podcast. I'm Shannon Jackson former anxiety sufferer turned adventure mom and anxiety recovery coach. I struggled with anxiety, panic disorder and agoraphobia for 15 years. And now I help people to push past the stuff that I used to struggle with. Each week, I'll be sharing real and honest conversations along with actionable and practical steps that you can take to help you push past your anxious thoughts, the symptoms, panic and fears. Welcome. You're right where you're meant to be.
Alright, let's talk about agoraphobia. What it is and what it looks like to struggle with it. So I always say Agoraphobia is a disorder that is so misunderstood. I know lots of people think that Agoraphobia is simply that disorder that prevents you from leaving your house. But the reality is that there are lots of people struggling with agoraphobia, who leave their house on a very regular basis. In fact, the percentage of people who are struggling with agoraphobia and are also housebound, is far less than those who are struggling with agoraphobia, and go outside of their home. But even more importantly, there is so much more to agoraphobia, than simply having a hard time doing things outside of your home. So I first want to jump into what the heck is agoraphobia. And the way that I like to explain it is that it's a disorder in which you have a hard time going places or doing things because you fear how you might feel when you're doing those things, or when you're going to those places. Oftentimes, people who struggle with agoraphobia worry a lot about experiencing an overwhelming amount of anxiety or panic, and being in a certain place or situation. And having that fear that they can't handle what they're feeling. And that something really bad is going to happen. Either a fear is going to come true, or they're going to embarrass themselves, or they're just going to be really, really uncomfortable, and not have help or not know what to do. And lots of people who struggle with agoraphobia have places in which they feel more safe, they have a tendency to stick to these places, because they don't experience anxiety there, or they feel what feels like a manageable amount of anxiety. And sometimes these places, or even situations are home, and sometimes just sticking to a certain radius of their home. Or sometimes it's going to work or places that they go frequently driving the same roads are the same routes. And this is often referred to as a safe zone, you really create a safe zone and you stick to this typically, because it makes you feel less anxious, it produces less anxiety, and less panic. And being outside of this safe zone is often really anxiety producing. And oftentimes when you push yourself outside of it, you feel anxious, and then you quickly move back into your safe zone. And it gives you what feels like instant relief. Like say you're walking outside and you're walking further from your home. And all of a sudden you realize I can't see my house. And so you start to really hightail it back to your house, you're either walking faster running, and then you can see your house, it's within view and you feel a sense of relief. Or it might be you're out and about and you're in a restaurant or you're just out walking around the city, and you feel a lot of anxiety or maybe panic. And you're like let me get back to my car as quickly as possible. And as soon as you see your car within view or as soon as you get into your car, you feel that instant relief. And of course these safe zones are really tricky, because although you feel this relief when you are in your safe zone or when you get back into your safe zone, it's really not that you're more safe. It's just that you're not feeling the anxiety, right. And I'll talk a little bit more about the safe zone. But for some people struggling with agoraphobia looks like they can really go anywhere or do anything as long as they have their safe person with them or a safety object. For some people, as long as they have say their car or their bike or they're safe persons nearby. They really feel okay to do just about anything. They might have some anxiety, but it feels manageable. And I just have to say I've worked with many, many people who struggle with agoraphobia, and some of them have been housebound, sometimes for years. But I've also worked with many people who struggle with agoraphobia and can travel all over like even internationally. They can get on a plane and they can they can do it even sometimes by themselves with no issues. But if you ask the same person to go to the grocery store, buy them selves or drive over a certain bridge or drive a certain distance from their home alone, it would be incredibly hard and are things that they probably avoid often or maybe all together. I've also worked with many people who don't really have a safe zone, they might have places and situations that feel a bit more comfortable. But oftentimes, some people feel like they just don't even have a safe zone. Like everything feels incredibly hard for them, because they experience a lot of anxiety and panic in any in all places and situations. And this last one that I just talked about was more so me, I was what people probably would have considered to be very high functioning, I would go to work, I would drive, I'd go out with friends, I'd go to the grocery store, I'd go to appointments, I would do a lot of life things. But I would do these things with an overwhelming amount of anxiety and panic. And it was incredibly freaking hard. And I think from the outside, people wouldn't have known like people didn't know, they had no idea that driving in a car was hard for me that driving five minutes down the road from my house was hard for me. And this is really because I hit it really well for a long time. Like I wanted to appear like I had it all together that I was quote normal, that I wasn't struggling, because honestly a big part was I didn't want to admit to myself how sort of bad it was and how much help and support I needed. And you know, back when I was struggling, I struggled with severe panic disorder and agoraphobia. And I had a very successful job. I graduated college I traveled, I probably seemed very normal. But I was in a constant state of fear. Because I was constantly bracing myself, and being scared to feel anxious and experience panic and shocker. It's something I came up against, like every day, all the time, because I was constantly finding it. And I was constantly trying not to experience it. And I always say this is one of my biggest regrets. Like I wish that I hadn't have hid it for so long. I wish that I just would have talked about it and ask for support and just let myself be freaking human. But this kind of leads to a segue. So I was diagnosed with severe panic disorder and agoraphobia. And I think it's really hard to talk about agoraphobia without also talking about panic disorder, because people who are struggling with agoraphobia are typically also struggling with panic disorder, right? They are struggling with agoraphobia, because they have overwhelming fears and struggles and they've experienced probably a panic attack or lots of panic attacks. And panic attacks can of course be really scary and overwhelming and make you feel really out of control. And so many people who struggle with panic disorder start to limit where they go and what they do. And an attempt to not experience the anxiety or panic. They really latch on to control and start trying to make themselves feel safe at all times. AKA not feel anxious. And this is where agoraphobia comes into the mix. And it's interesting because people who are struggling with agoraphobia will often say I don't know how I got here, right to a place where my life feels so small and limited. But it makes perfect sense how they got to where they are because anxiety and panic can be really scary and really overwhelming. And so as a human, you've done whatever you can do to make yourself not feel that really hard stuff. And unfortunately, it often looks like people pulling away retreating, shrinking their worlds not doing the things they enjoy and not going to the places and putting themselves in situations that produce the anxiety. And so I always say it makes perfect sense how you got here, and it's not your fault. I don't want you to blame yourself. And let's look at this with not trying to blame or shame. It is okay that you're where you're at. But what are we going to do? Right? What do we have to do to get yourself out of this place? That's a whole nother conversation, right? But I just have to say a lot of people who land on my Instagram page and who choose to work with me will say, Shannon, I had no freaking clue that I was struggling with agoraphobia. But as soon as I saw some of your post, and it's typically the me versus brain reels that I do. They'll say I finally felt like I had words to describe what I've been going through. And this would have been me had I landed on my page like I knew I was struggling with panic disorder because I was experiencing a lot of anxiety, a lot of panic attacks, but I didn't really know I was struggling with it. Were a phobia until actually it was diagnosed with it. Because I always thought, No, I'm not that bad. Like, I'm still going places and doing things. And there's no way I could be struggling with that. Like it didn't even come into my brain. But I was absolutely struggling with agoraphobia. So I want to take a little bit of time and shed some light on what it feels and looks like to struggle with agoraphobia, because I know having an understanding is such a big key to healing, as is validation. And just being able to feel like, I'm not alone. And I'm also not crazy. So here, I just want to describe like what it feels like to struggle with agoraphobia. And I just want to list out some things. So of course, it feels like always worrying about experiencing and an overwhelming amount of anxiety or panic, right, always worrying about experiencing that anxiety or panic, that's going to just be too much. And really any of it feels like too much. It also feels like wanting to stay home, but also wanting so badly to go out and do things and enjoy your life. It also feels like feeling really jealous and envious of quote, normal people, people who aren't struggling, right with the overwhelming anxiety and fears. It also feels like being disappointed in yourself and feeling like others are disappointed in you. Because you're often bailing on plans and you're just not doing a lot of the things that you want to be doing. It also feels like wanting to share what the heck you're struggling with, but also not wanting to because you don't want people to think that you're crazy. It also looks like constantly worrying that the symptoms are going to lead to a panic attack, or to you losing all control or a trip to the hospital. It also is feeling like you can't quite be at peace anywhere you are. Because the chaos. The overwhelming fear is in your head, it's happening in your own brain. It also has that feeling of I'm so anxious and I'm panicking and I'm trying to hide it and I'm trying to pretend like it's not happening. It also feels like feeling really afraid that maybe I can't continue to do life in the way that I need to like being afraid that you can't financially support yourself and take care of yourself. It might be feeling afraid, right? That you're going to lose your job or you can't go back to working or there's that real concern, right, I need to be able to support myself. It's also feeling so angry about missing out on opportunities and just missing out on life. It's feeling as though you're weak, you're incapable. And you're dependent on other people to do like the simplest things. And I know how it feels to feel these things. And I just want you to hear me you are not weak, you are so not weak, the things that you're doing on a day to day basis, like you are the total opposite of weak, you facing the anxiety, that panic and you continuing to take the small steps and to do the things you have to and want to do like that is massive, and you are so incredibly strong. And I think also here, it's great feeling like you can't quite believe in yourself. And that's just such an not fun feeling to feel like I can't trust myself. I don't believe in myself. I know I felt all of these things. And if you're currently feeling any of these things, or maybe quite a few of them or all of them, I just want to send you so much love. And I want you to know like you are not always going to feel these things. You won't always feel these things. So I want to shift a little bit and talk about some things that are typically hard for people who are struggling with agoraphobia. Because I think this also helps to give some validation and make you see you're not crazy. This is something that so many people struggle with. And it's quite normal for these things to be hard for you. So I know you may be thinking the obvious, right? Like Shannon, everything is hard for me. And it's true. Most everything is typically hard when you're struggling with agoraphobia because you're often worried about feeling anxious or experiencing a panic attack or losing control like any and all turns. Another thing that's really hard is being in places and situations in which you feel you don't have control. Maybe you feel like you're not in control. And this might be riding on public transportation or riding as a passenger. Or maybe it's being sick or being far from home or quote being far from safety, like maybe being far from people or hospitals. It can also look like trying new foods or taking medications and being worried about maybe having an allergy Like that feels really out of control. Maybe it's not having access to a bathroom. Like this feeling of I'm not in control is often really hard for people who are struggling with agoraphobia. Another thing that's also really hard is being in places and situations in which you feel stuck. And maybe it's traffic or sending in meetings or going through drive throughs or being on elevators, being in the shower, waiting in lines, like I could go on and on and on. I felt this in in all these places and situations. feeling stuck is a really huge part of struggling with agoraphobia. If you feel stuck, it often leads to be anxious feelings. And that's really hard. Another thing that's really hard is any sensations in the body like experiencing any sensations, even normal ones, like food being digested, or your heart speeding up, or some breathing changes, like normal sensations can be really challenging because you have such a hyper awareness and you're like constantly on this sort of high alert. And you when you're struggling with panic disorder, and agoraphobia, you tend to interpret everything as being dangerous. Another thing that's hard for people struggling with agoraphobia is typically when you feel hot, either if there's hot weather, or you're in a room that's more hot, that can trigger feelings of anxiety. Of course, an obvious one, right? experiencing any symptoms, if you feel dizzy, or you have pain, or nausea, or heart palpitations, or just feeling off, like the symptoms can really be hard, because it leads to a lot of the really hard thoughts, and the feelings and, and panic attacks. And all of that is really challenging. But something that is incredibly important. And what I want to highlight right now is that these things aren't the things that are actually leading to the anxiety and panic and fears that you're experiencing. And I know you might be like what, yes, they are Shannon.
But this is something that I didn't understand for a long time. And so I want to make sure you understand this. So these things that I just went through, right, there are triggers, but they aren't the cause of the anxiety and the panic and the intense fears. I always say it's not the place, it's not the situation. And it's even not the sensations or the symptoms that's leading to the anxiety and panic. So avoiding doing things or going places or avoiding feeling isn't really going to help. Although I know it feels helpful in the short term, and it gives you some short term relief, it's not actually going to help, because these aren't the things that are actually causing the problems. So it's important to be aware of what's actually causing the problems like what's actually causing the anxiety to continue to pop up, what's causing the panic attacks, what's causing the fears. And so I want to talk about this a little bit. So some of the really big causes of struggling with agoraphobia and panic is an overwhelming amount of stress, right and accumulation of stress. Oftentimes, people will say, I have no idea how the heck I got here. And it's typically because there's just been a lot of stress, it's sort of been bubbling under the surface, and it sort of all at one point come spilling out. And it manifests with you constantly being in fight or flight and experiencing a lot of panic attacks and a lot of intense fear. And then you go to those to those behaviors and those things that feel like they're bringing you safety, you know, avoidance and retreating and, and suppressing and fighting and all those things. So it's important to acknowledge stress is a major contributor of panic and agoraphobia. And it can be just an accumulation of stress that can be big life events. It can be life changes, even happy ones. You know, people will say, I don't know how I landed here, like I nothing really bad happened. But sometimes it's not, quote, bad stuff that's happened. It's even really exciting, happy changes, but your body can't differentiate bad stress from good stress. It just acknowledges, a lot of stress is present and so anxiety pops in to try to protect you. Another cause right is a lack of self care. Not taking care of yourself can land you in a really tough spot, especially relating to rate stress. Also another contributor feeling anxious and resisting and finding it all the time. Like never making space for anxiety will land you in a really tricky place with anxiety. Another contributor is also not having a healthy response to your thoughts and feelings. You have gotten really good at probably fighting and suppressing and not letting yourself feel and trying to push away the thoughts and and that really continues to create a lot of anxiety. Another obvious one right avoidance like avoiding facing the home hard stuff, avoiding doing the things that cause anxiety, avoiding your feelings. That's a big one. Another thing that can cause people to struggle with agoraphobia is trauma. Like these are all big things that can cause people to struggle with panic disorder and agoraphobia. And when people come to me, it's typically because they're fed up, right, and they want to stop managing anxiety. They're done with all the things that they've heard about anxiety, you have to manage it, it's always going to be in your life, you just have to navigate it here, take this here, do this, do more breathing, do more yoga. And before they know it, the anxiety is bigger and harder, and their fears have grown. And so when people come to me, they're like, I'm done with all of that. I don't want to manage it. I don't want to do what I'm doing anymore. I want to learn how to create a healthy relationship with it. And when people come to me and say this, I say, heck, yes, let's do it. But the first step is really becoming aware of what's actually happening, what you're struggling with, what's causing a lot of the anxiety and panic and getting honest with yourself about where the problems lie. Because until you're aware, and until you get honest with yourself, you can't heal, it just won't happen, you might get some short term relief, you might feel like, Oh, I feel good. And you'll go a few months, and then bam, you're struggling with the anxiety and panic attacks again. So these are all things that I teach and all the work that I do, you have to get aware, you have to get honest, we have to, we have to know where the problems lie, so that we can actually really get that long term healing that you're looking for. So I really hope that this this episode has given you lots of insight into what Gore phobia actually is. And I hope that it's helped you to feel seen and validated. And I know it is such a hard thing to struggle with. But I want you to know and really hear me on this agoraphobia, panic disorder. These are things that you can heal and recover from. Yes, it takes a lot of hard work and dedication to you and your mental health. But you're absolutely capable of living that life that you want to live the one that isn't consumed by anxiety and the panic and fears. And if you're really ready to create a healthy relationship with anxiety and overcome the panic attacks, and your fears and all the things I want to encourage you check out my master classes, check out my 10 week program, panic to peace, and everything I teach, this is the stuff that I help you to do. I actually help you to get that long term healing that you're looking for. So that you can experience that peace, joy and that freedom. Alright, my friends. Until next time, keep taking healthy action.
