Fully Recovered: Susanne Update - 16 Years of Panic Disorder and Agoraphobia to Recovered!
- Shannon Jackson
- May 26, 2024
- 3 min read
Anxiety Success Stories: Being Fully Recovered From Panic Disorder and Agoraphobia with Susanne
Susanne is a former Panic to Peace student with an incredible anxiety success story! You may remember Susanne from our last conversation, and it was so great to catch up with her again on the podcast.
To recap, Susanne struggled with Panic Disorder and Agoraphobia for 16 years, but has come so far, and her life looks a lot different nowadays! Susanne is now fully recovered, so I was so excited to hear more about what that means for Susanne and dig into some burning questions!
How Has Life Changed Since Taking Panic to Peace?
Susanne was in the very first round of Panic to Peace that I ran, back in April 2022, and is one of many of my students who has gone on to amazing things! Fast-forward two years, and life couldn't look more different!
It was so lovely to hear that Susanne is now a mother to a beautiful baby boy, which is something she never imagined being able to do when she was deeply struggling. Susanne felt well during much of her pregnancy, and honestly felt too busy and occupied with the changes and preparation to find much time to be anxious! I love this - so often the anticipation really is the hardest part!
Susanne has been taking lots more trips which is something that has always felt important to her. When we spoke, she had just returned from a trip to Italy with her husband and son, a three hour drive by car, something that would have looked impossible before!
While Susanne has experienced lots of joy and freedom in the last couple of years, she has unfortunately been through some challenging family issues. Despite facing loss, Susanne has felt much stronger facing these challenges as her perspective on life has shifted. A huge part of Panic to Peace is learning to create a healthy relationship with anxiety, and facing hard emotions. This really does support us with all those moments life inevitably throws us at, and leads to long-term healing.
How Did You Know You Were Recovered?
The big question! Recovery looks different for everyone - but for Susanne, it was definitely her mindset shift that gave her the signal. A lot of people hold the standard of being recovered as the ability to do everything and anything (with flying often high on that list!) - but the true measure of recovery is what is going on internally.
This mental shift occurs when slowly, soon enough you are no longer having daily mental battles with anxiety, and day to day activity becomes more peaceful.
What Advice Would You Give To Others On This Journey?
For Susanne, learning more about panic, anxiety, and agoraphobia, and actually allowing those feelings, played a big role in her recovery journey. We chatted about how gaining this new perspective and having the knowledge to understand what was happening can really help things click into place.
I am so proud of Susanne, and so incredibly grateful for her sharing her story! If you've been inspired by this anxiety success story but you are struggling right now, I want you to remember that this is possible for you too. We are all capable of doing hard things, one step at a time, no matter what your journey looks like or how long you have struggled for. Keep taking healthy action, friend, and let yourself see how capable you really are!
Feeling like you've tried everything but you're still struggling with lots of anxious thoughts, symptoms, panic attacks, and fears? Take my FREE 60-minute masterclass today and learn 5 shifts that will actually help you to overcome anxiety, panic disorder, and agoraphobia. And I promise, you won't hear any of the usual stuff from me - like doing breathing exercises, grounding practices, cutting out caffeine, and doing more exposures. Let's get you the peace and freedom you deserve without it being so hard!
Thinking about joining my 10-week program, Panic to Peace? Get on my waiting list, and when doors open, you'll get early access to the program, a special bonus, and a pretty awesome discount!
Check out my masterclasses here and start experiencing lots more peace, joy, & freedom!
TRANSCRIPT
00:00.60
ahealthypush
All right I am super excited about this episode. This is the second episode of a series that I've titled fully recovered and I'm really excited because I'm sitting down with Suzanne and. Suzanne just to give a little bit of background. She took panic to peace in April of 2022 she was on the podcast in January of 2023 and she shared her story and. If you haven't listened to that you're going to want to listen to that first not that you have to but I encourage it because her story is really good that was episode 57 and now today I'm sitting down with Suzanne to hear where she's at now and how things are looking and we're recording this at the end of april. 2024 so Suzanne I'm really excited to have you here. Hi.
00:51.42
Susanne
Hello Shannon hi again I feel so honored to be part of your podcast again and thanks for having me.
00:59.49
ahealthypush
Ah, yeah I am so glad I know that you are not a fan of sitting down and recording these episodes. So I so appreciate I So appreciate you doing it because they're so inspiring and they're so helpful and they just give people so much hope.
01:07.90
Susanne
Um, nope.
01:17.48
ahealthypush
So let's first start with back when you joined panic to peace like let's talk about briefly. What did things look like then.
01:28.46
Susanne
Um, well I have to say there are like 2 different points in time that I would like to mention firstly it's the time when I found you and your Instagram account that was in August Twenty Twenty one I've looked that up.
01:38.15
ahealthypush
Um, yeah, okay yeah I love it.
01:45.74
Susanne
And secondly the time when you offered panic to peace for the first time and um, it was such a good feeling for me when I found your Instagram account I had already suffered from a agora for Rubia for I guess yes it was 16 years and it was like yet sometimes very intense like not being able to leave the house and and sometimes in ah in a lighter way and yeah, suddenly there was someone ah almost the same age as me going through the same. And now telling me that it's possible to heal and ah I was like okay crazy but it was true and yeah your daily posts on Instagram helped me a lot back then and they motivated me and gave me hope. And yeah, most importantly I finally found someone who had the same thing as me and so it was obvious ah to sign up for the course. Um and back then I had just gone through a very intense time.
02:44.14
ahealthypush
Um, yeah.
02:56.19
Susanne
I Oh I guess I already talked about that in the podcast. Um well I had a a miscarriage my mother almost died because of COVID with and she is one of my safe persons and my aunt died because of COVID and so there was a lot of going on and I would say.
03:04.84
ahealthypush
Remember.
03:15.56
Susanne
I wasn't quite as low I was back in 2006 when it all started but I was really struggling after those events and I was afraid to go to work and my appetite was limited I couldn't sleep well and all the symptoms you all know.
03:23.50
ahealthypush
A.
03:34.84
Susanne
So that was when I started with ah panic tope.
03:41.41
ahealthypush
Yeah I you just said it and I can't even believe you were in the very first round that I ever taught of panic to peace which is like kind of mind blowing for me to think about because it doesn't feel like it's been that long. Um, okay I remember.
03:53.18
Susanne
Um, yes and I get it I get you also had a progue program which was without the life sessions right.
03:58.35
ahealthypush
No, what was that.
04:05.31
ahealthypush
Yeah, yes, yep, you could take it in it. Yeah.
04:09.64
Susanne
I Don't know if you have it. Ah if you still have it but I can remember that I joined that one too.
04:15.60
ahealthypush
Yeah, it's still so initially I just did it so that you could take it on your own and then I was like no no no I need to actually sit down with people and guide them and give them the community and the support and. Ah, yeah, it's been the best thing and I haven't stopped doing that since but you can still take it on your own if you want to Um, but I know like you experienced. It's a totally different experience when you take it with people who are on as similar Bernie as you like. And yeah, so what? I.
04:40.20
Susanne
Now.
04:48.72
ahealthypush
Feel like there's so much. But what does life look like now like give us a glimpse. There's been so much That's happened.
04:56.60
Susanne
Ah, yes, well I would say that currently my life is so different than it was in 2022 because I am a mother. Of a now fifteen month old son and to be honest I could never ever ever ever have imagined being a mother before and you know it's like the things you all may know I was terrified of giving birth.
05:19.23
ahealthypush
Yeah.
05:30.45
Susanne
And and I always said that I couldn't be a mom if I didn't have my life under control. However, ah, whatever that means ah to have my life under control with agoraphobia. But yeah now everything has changed and I am a mom.
05:38.70
ahealthypush
Um, yep, yeah.
05:49.90
Susanne
Um, and I was just um, back in italy last week well I am from Austria by the way so it was a 3 hour drive by car and we've been on vacation with my husband and son and yeah, so.
06:08.68
Susanne
It's like everyday life and um I've experienced a lot in the last few months but yeah many wonderful moments challenges as the mother and and also life has challenged me like ah.
06:21.83
ahealthypush
Um, ah yeah.
06:28.55
Susanne
For example, um, to be honest, um, it's It's not it has hasn't always been great I've lost. Um, five loved ones in a very short space of time. Um.
06:39.99
ahealthypush
If.
06:44.81
Susanne
But I would have never coped with that So well in the past and and now I was able to deal with ah death. Well I would say well and I I didn't panic at the funerals and stuff like that. Um, and.
06:53.54
ahealthypush
Do.
07:04.00
Susanne
I would say it can now um deal with life's challenges much better and am no longer. How do you say thrown off the course so quickly and debt.
07:15.37
ahealthypush
Yeah.
07:20.48
Susanne
Panic to pieces really helped me a lot. Well it it I can't say it helped me it has changed my whole life to be honest.
07:28.34
ahealthypush
But well, it's just so interesting that you brought that up and I'm so sorry loss is so incredibly hard and you know we talk about this toward the end of the program like you know this is the end. But. You The all the work that you did here right? to create a healthy relationship with anxiety is going to help you for all those moments that life is going to keep throwing at you because life just doesn't It's not easy breezy like you know the course finishes and then you never have stressful hard events happen like.
07:48.20
Susanne
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:59.77
Susanne
Um, yeah.
08:00.59
ahealthypush
You know that's why you do all this really hard work is to make sure in those moments you don't get so thrown off and then go back into a ah panic spiral. Um, but of course too I have to say right? It makes sense for big hard things that somebody might experience some anxiety.
08:07.20
Susanne
Um, yeah.
08:17.85
Susanne
Of course, of course. Yeah.
08:19.13
ahealthypush
Even panic. Yeah and it it. It doesn't necessarily mean like oh gosh I'm you know going back to where I was like everything is going to Unravel it just means no your your body's responding in the way that it makes sense to respond. But. I'm so happy to hear that you've been able to navigate so much of life's hardest things and and not be thrown off course that's like incredible.
08:41.55
Susanne
Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, and and you know I was so proud of myself that I was able to deal. With this hard stuff like a normal person like I was able to to grieve and and of course I when when a friend of mine Died. Um. He left. Ah he he was a very very good friend of mine and he has 2 little girls ah and and it was so hard for me and I thought well I I don't know if I'm able to to go to the funeral. But.
09:25.56
ahealthypush
I mean I.
09:31.51
ahealthypush
Yeah, but.
09:33.91
Susanne
Um, but I made it and it I I was able to cry instead of having a panic attack and it's ok to have a panic attack but but for me, it was something very special to be able to grieve.
09:44.33
ahealthypush
Yeah.
09:53.56
Susanne
To not think oh my God I have to leave this place. No I was able to stay in the church and to say goodbye and to feel all the feelings and ah it was hard but um in a different way.
10:09.90
ahealthypush
Yeah, so I know people are going to want me to ask this question because you you mentioned it So I want to go back to it becoming a mom. You know we sort of talked about it briefly before we hit record that like it is.
10:11.56
Susanne
Yeah.
10:23.75
Susanne
Um.
10:29.14
ahealthypush
So Dang hard. But what you said what you said was that you know you were you were so scared so afraid like you didn't think that you would become a mom and like going through pregnancy and delivering and all of that like was it. Was it what you maybe anticipated like was it so scary or did you find you dealt with it a lot more easily than you thought you would.
10:57.35
Susanne
Um, well that's such a funny question. No um, well um, Pregnancy was totally.
11:12.66
Susanne
Okay, and I I felt quite well and um, yeah I'm very like satisfied with with all those nine months or ten months um giving birth was.
11:25.34
ahealthypush
Yeah, yeah.
11:32.36
Susanne
Freaking hard and painful. But I you know you don't even have the time or anything to have a little feeling of anxiety anxiety or.
11:41.57
ahealthypush
Okay.
11:51.37
Susanne
Ah, panic. It's It's not possible. They are so many I it's It's what I think there are so many hormones hormones. How do you say hormones and and and there is.
11:52.44
ahealthypush
Um, yep, yep.
12:02.60
ahealthypush
Yep, yeah, you're right.
12:08.82
Susanne
There's a lot of things going on and you don't have the time to feel anxious or thumb say something like that and additionally ah, you feel this pure joy and love and and ah it's.
12:14.33
ahealthypush
Um, yeah, yeah.
12:21.97
ahealthypush
And.
12:28.50
ahealthypush
I.
12:28.33
Susanne
I Can't describe it well right? afterwards? ah you you feel like you're the queen of the fucking world and no one else Only you.
12:42.25
ahealthypush
Yeah.
12:46.36
Susanne
Yours? Ah, ah only you alone are the queen of this world. Yes, that's what it feels like ha.
12:52.61
ahealthypush
Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh I agree I I was talking to my mom the other day about it and I so I was told her I remember walking into the hospital and I was like waddling in. Not not knowing right being so I was just so in the moment of like I'm going into the hospital and I'm having my baby and this woman looked at me and she was like good luck and I was just like oh God and it sort of hit me in that moment that like I'm having this baby. But.
13:15.70
Susanne
Um, and.
13:26.83
ahealthypush
It was the same for me. It's like you don't have time for anything other than to be present with what's going on and like it just night. There is no space for anxiety or panic. So yeah and I I think I remember too you telling me.
13:31.70
Susanne
Um, yeah, yeah.
13:36.66
Susanne
No, no, there isn't.
13:43.40
ahealthypush
Which I might be making this up but I could have sworn like because we email. Um, we've stayed in touch this whole time and I feel like I remember you emailing me and saying that you even like traveled very close to your delivery date and I was just like what and you were like if I have the baby. You know what I did. And I was like oh my gosh I don't even know if I'd be doing that.
14:04.46
Susanne
Ah, yes, you know you you have to imagine I I suffered from a agoraphobia for 16 years and then I was on the way on recovery. But I was pregnant so I had to. To go to all the destinations I I want to go before having a little baby because with a little baby It's not as easy as it is before and so the I yes, the the one of the last.
14:24.20
ahealthypush
Um, yeah.
14:34.24
ahealthypush
Yep.
14:41.50
Susanne
Things I've done was like I can remember it was the sixth of January where I traveled to the city of Zurich in Switzerland and we've been on this. Um um, was museum of illusions.
14:58.50
ahealthypush
Earth.
15:00.20
Susanne
And ah my son was born on January Twenty first but I also wanted to travel at January Twenty Second um it was all planned.
15:05.43
ahealthypush
Wow.
15:16.68
Susanne
And to have breakfast ah in Zurich in Switzerland again which is a one and a half hour drive um but yeah, unfortunately it was not possible but ok yeah.
15:26.86
ahealthypush
Yeah, yeah, but that would have been Impressive. So Let's I know people are wondering how the heck did you know you recovered because you struggled for so long and like. Ah, how did you know like how did you arrive at the place where like yep I'm I'm healed like I'm not struggling with that anymore.
15:50.54
Susanne
Um, well I I think it's the the term recovered I don't know if I see myself as recovered Well to be honest at the moment I couldn't just.
16:05.46
ahealthypush
Ah.
16:07.77
Susanne
Get on a plane and travel to the United States but the difference is I know that one day I will fly at the moment I'm still very busy with my son and I don't have my hat free for like really big adventures yet. But um.
16:14.83
ahealthypush
Yeah.
16:27.18
Susanne
When I think about flying I feel a kind of excitement inside me and in the past it would have been heart palpitations and that's a big difference I would say and I would also say that one of the biggest differences is that.
16:29.97
ahealthypush
A name.
16:46.98
Susanne
In the past I've already faced a lot of things I I went on vacation but what's different today is what's going on in my head in my mind. There's so much more.
16:55.86
ahealthypush
Um, yeah.
17:01.82
Susanne
Anticipation much more joy confidence that everything is good much more being in the moment and yeah, well for example, while on vacation in Italy last week I noticed that I hadn't even thought about. Packing an emergency bag I just packed my suitcase like a normal person. How crazy is that I was so happy about that? Yeah, so.
17:30.83
ahealthypush
Yeah I bet I mean for but because for so long you were carrying around a bunch of stuff like.
17:38.50
Susanne
Yes, it was a heavy bag full of stuff. You don't need. But yeah.
17:43.37
ahealthypush
But I'm so glad I think this is how I also could recognize that I was to this place I Know you say you know I don't know if I would say I'm recovered and I think we. Hold like I don't know why so many people do this hold the standard of being recovered is like I need to be able to do anything and everything and usually flying is on that list and it's like no no, no, no the true measure of whether or not you are recovered is what's going on internally.
18:02.36
Susanne
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:15.28
Susanne
Um, yeah, yeah.
18:15.86
ahealthypush
And that's the most beautiful part that I could recognize was I'm doing things I'm maybe not doing everything but I'm doing the things that I would normally do in my day to day I'm doing the things I want to do the things I have to do.
18:20.57
Susanne
Um, yeah, yeah f.
18:31.70
ahealthypush
And the internal I'm not having these mental battles and I'm not having the sensations and symptoms and then getting wrapped up in them and all the thoughts like it just all of that shifted and like I always say it wasn't a day. It wasn't just I woke up and I was like oh wow, it's all gone. It was slow but.
18:40.18
Susanne
Ah.
18:46.80
Susanne
Here? yeah.
18:51.60
ahealthypush
Yeah, that that mental shift is the best most amazing part? Yeah so what was something that was like really helpful for you on your journey whether it was something.
18:52.67
Susanne
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. That's true.
19:07.98
ahealthypush
Someone said or a tool or something that you did like what do you feel like is something that you probably maybe couldn't have gotten to the place where you are without it.
19:18.48
Susanne
Um, well there are a lot of things and ah the the most important thing is you Shannon? Um, yeah, that's true and besides death. It's um.
19:25.75
ahealthypush
Ah.
19:34.80
Susanne
Yeah, it's It's the the the knowledge about anxiety agoraphobia that you teach us all like for me it was for example, finally knowing that this scary and for me burst.
19:37.40
ahealthypush
A.
19:52.47
Susanne
Symptom that I could never describe ah that that that I I I was I wasn't able to describe has a name and it's dpdr and I think that understanding the fear Diagora Phobia is so important for.
20:02.36
ahealthypush
A.
20:11.65
Susanne
Change to happen and that's that's one of the the the things and um also not wanting the.
20:12.49
ahealthypush
Yeah.
20:25.78
Susanne
Symptoms to go away but accepting them and allowing them to happen. Ah the community. Ah the a healthy push community like to know that you're not alone and there are many other people who feel the same way and um.
20:25.93
ahealthypush
A.
20:45.65
Susanne
Yeah, and that that what sorry yeah.
20:47.54
ahealthypush
Yeah, know gosh ever like you're so good everything that you said and it is I'm so glad you hit on that. It's not just 1 thing there wasn't just 1 thing that did it because that's often what we're thinking and hoping like it's just 1 thing that I'm missing like.
20:57.50
Susanne
Um, no, no, no, it's now.
21:06.89
ahealthypush
I just need to find it and it's like not every 1 thing but that the education the knowledge the knowing what's actually going on and that you're not crazy and that this is the stop even dpdr. It's something that makes so much sense that why it's happening what it feels like and yeah I'm so all of that. so so good
21:14.58
Susanne
Um, yeah.
21:20.68
Susanne
Um, yeah, yeah.
21:26.48
ahealthypush
Um, so what would you say to somebody who's listening right now who's like I don't know if I'll ever get to this place like I have been trying and working for so long and so hard and I just don't know if I'm going to get there and they're. They hopefully they have more hope now because they see you know it's not just Shannon. It's there's many people who have done this work and who have recovered. But yeah, what would you say to that person who's like I just don't know I don't think that this is possible for me.
21:47.90
Susanne
Um, yeah.
21:58.34
Susanne
Well I totally understand this person because I felt the same and I had that feeling for 16 years and I think you only believe it when you've done it and um I I I guess I've also mentioned that in the last.
21:59.59
ahealthypush
Print.
22:07.30
ahealthypush
Lab.
22:15.70
Susanne
Podcast it I Um I Once had a flash of inspiration on a walk and then I I realized that I wanted to be grateful for a girl phobia because panic and.
22:29.32
ahealthypush
Are.
22:33.72
Susanne
Agoraphobia are diseases that we can cure ourselves through our actions and I'm not saying it's easy. But if we do certain things that you explain in the panic to peace course then each of us can heal and. We can all recovery if we realize that we can heal ourselves and it's not a psy psychiatrist and no mindfulness coach no tranquilizers. We don't need thousands of dollars just ourselves. Ah.
22:55.13
ahealthypush
E.
23:02.54
ahealthypush
Me.
23:10.12
Susanne
Hell lot of courage and continuity. But then it's possible for everyone and this is 1000000% true because I have been there too. Yes.
23:26.48
ahealthypush
Um, ah, gosh Suzanne I just love you like it's it's it's oh my gosh.
23:27.91
Susanne
Um.
23:30.40
Susanne
I love you too. Shannon.
23:35.00
ahealthypush
The the people that I've gotten to connect with and know and like we the fact that we still stay in touch like I will start crying So I'm not going to go on about that. But like the fact that we can heal ourselves and this is often a missing piece for a lot of people is that they've been sold on this idea for so long that. The fix the cure. The whatever is going to come from outside of you and it does not come from outside of you and to see you having gone through this and realize like you're all you need and you've got this and and you.
23:57.50
Susanne
Um, yeah now.
24:09.84
ahealthypush
Really did commit and put in the work and take the steps and like you saw like I I can heal myself and I did do this and like it's just incredible of course now to watch you and your family and just all the things. It's It's so so amazing.
24:27.88
Susanne
Yes, and it's only possible because you share all of your experience and ah your knowledge and ah it's crazy. It's it's yeah.
24:30.85
ahealthypush
There.
24:39.11
ahealthypush
Yeah, well I am I am just so incredibly grateful for you coming on and sharing and and it like I said if you haven't listened to Suzanne's first episode you got to listen to that. Um, both this. Everything that you've shared Suzanne here has been so incredibly helpful and I am just so proud of you like endlessly proud of you because it's like I always say you take my program It's great, but like my program's not the thing that's doing it for you. It's you and like yes I can take some credit for like.
24:58.20
Susanne
Thank you.
25:12.49
ahealthypush
I was there and I helped you and I guided you but like you did it. It wasn't me so I will always be incredibly proud of you.
25:21.73
Susanne
Um, but thank you so much Shannon.
25:23.53
ahealthypush
Ah, all right? Well we'll keep in touch and we'll talk soon I'm sure and thank you again for coming on.
25:25.93
Susanne
Well sure, Thank you. It was a pleasure.
