Anxiety Recovery: Three Important Promises I Made to Myself When I Recovered (And How I've Stayed Recovered for 7 Years)
- Shannon Jackson
- Jan 21, 2024
- 3 min read
In this episode, I'm sharing with you three promises I made to myself when I recovered from anxiety, panic disorder, and agoraphobia. Not only have these promises helped me keep pushing myself, but they have also helped me stay recovered for the past seven years! And I think they might help you, too! If you’re looking for some insight into my own journey with severe anxiety, panic disorder, and agoraphobia, and you’re wondering what it might look like to maintain anxiety recovery, this episode is for you.
And before we get started I want to share a bit of a spoiler… these promises have nothing to do with meditating every day, doing breathwork, following a strict routine, or journaling daily. I don’t have to do these things to stay recovered, and neither do you if you don’t want to! So let’s get into it.
Anxiety Recovery: Three Important Promises I Made to Myself When I Recovered
01. I promised myself that I would face discomfort often.
This first one is such a big reason why I recovered from panic disorder and agoraphobia…and stayed recovered! When I was working to recover, I knew I had lots of facing to do. So many small things caused me lots of discomfort, and I knew that facing it often was so essential to my healing. I had to take accountability and change so many of my unhealthy coping mechanisms! For me, this looked like slowly leaning into the discomfort. I started sitting through work meetings, taking trains, going on trips far from home, and being the passenger in vehicles, which were all things I avoided very often. And thanks to this promise I made to myself, I kept learning to make space for all of my emotions. Even the uncomfortable ones!
02. I promised myself that I would never go back to struggling.
This one might seem pretty obvious, and maybe even a little bit silly… but it was really important for me to make this promise to myself while I was healing. As I started to heal, I became much more aware of all of the contributors that led me to a place of disordered anxiety. And once I became aware of those contributors, I knew I had to promise myself that I would never go back to this place of struggling with anxiety, panic disorder, and agoraphobia. And when I say that I promised to never let myself go back to struggling, what I really mean is that I promised to always hold myself accountable. Most importantly, I had to learn how to create a healthy relationship with myself! So much of my own experience inspires how I teach my students and clients. That’s why I spend so much time teaching the skills to build a healthy relationship with yourself in my ten-week program, Panic to Peace!
03. I promised myself that I would help others overcome panic disorder and agoraphobia.
If you’re familiar with my story, you know that I struggled with anxiety, panic disorder, and agoraphobia for fifteen years… which is a really long time! If I had the knowledge, tips, and tools earlier on, I wouldn’t have struggled for nearly as long (and it wouldn't have been so dang hard!). And once I recovered, I made it my mission to help as many people heal much faster and with more ease than I did! And today, my mission is still to help as many people as I can to live the life that they are so deserving of.
When I was struggling, I felt so doomed. I was sure this is what the rest of my life would look like, and I felt so hopeless for so long. I thought I was the only person who dealt with this, and I felt so alone in my struggles. But all of the work I did is what led me to creating this podcast, and talking with you today! As much as I wish I didn’t have to struggle as much as I did, a big part of me is also really grateful. So many of my struggles showed me who I really am, and helped me step into a much better version of myself.
And I just want to remind you… you are never alone! There are so many people who struggle with the same thing, and so many of them have recovered from this. Know that it is absolutely possible for you, and I’m cheering you on! Until next time, friend, keep taking healthy action.
TRANSCRIPT
Welcome to a healthy push Podcast. I'm Shannon Jackson, former anxiety sufferer turned adventure mom and anxiety recovery coach. I struggled with anxiety, panic disorder and agoraphobia for 15 years. And now I help people to push past the stuff that I used to struggle with. Each week, I'll be sharing real and honest conversations along with actionable and practical steps that you can take to help you push past your anxious thoughts, the symptoms, panic and fears. Welcome. You're right, we're meant to be.
Okay, it feels like this episode is a little bit different than the ones I typically do. But I'm really excited to dive into these promises that I made to myself when I recovered from anxiety, panic disorder and agoraphobia, because they're just really beautiful promises that I made to myself. And they really helped me to push myself and they have also helped me stay recovered for the past seven years. So if you've been with me for a while now, you already know I recovered from my 15 year struggle with anxiety, panic and agoraphobia seven years ago. But if you're fairly new here, I want to fill you in real quick. So I was diagnosed with severe panic disorder and agoraphobia when I was an early teenager. And it continued through to my later 20s. And I struggled to do most everything. And I struggled, especially being in places in situations in which I felt stuck, or trapped or lacked control. I struggled with panic attacks almost on a daily basis, I struggled with driving anxiety and toilet anxiety. And if you're like, What the heck is toilet anxiety, I experienced a lot of nausea and pain and cramping and all of that, because anxiety for me typically manifested with gut stuff. And so I developed a really strong fear of needing to go to the bathroom and not being able to make it to a bathroom. So that's really anxiety. I also struggled with intrusive thoughts, and I had tons of fears. And just the list really goes on and on. And I worked my absolute bot off to get to where I am today. Like I cannot emphasize enough, I did so much work to get to where I am. And nowadays, I don't struggle with any of the things that I just mentioned, I do my day to day things without anxiety or panic. And without all the fears. I bring my daughter to school and I pick her up and I go grocery shopping. And I go to the doctors and I go out with friends and I do all the normal day to day stuff without the anxiety and panic. And I also do lots of bigger things or what people would consider to be bigger things like I hike miles and miles up mountains, sometimes by myself. And sometimes in really remote places. I ski I do lots of outdoor activities, I go on lots of adventures, I fly I travel. And just in general, my life looks drastically different than it did 10 or 15 years ago. But like I said, I worked my butt off to live this beautiful life that you now see me living, I'm sure you see on some of my Instagram posts, like the stuff that I do and what my life looks like. And it's incredible. But it took a lot to get me here. And I've shared a lot of my story and my journey and how I've gotten to where I hear on the podcast. And I've also shared it on my Instagram and in my weekly emails that I send. But in this episode, I want to specifically talk to you about three important promises that I made to myself when I was working to recover. Because these promises helped me in so many ways to recover, and just to grow and to step into the person that I am. So they really helped me not just relating to my journey with anxiety, but in so many other aspects of my life too. So this first one probably isn't going to come as a big surprise. The first promise that I made to myself was face discomfort often. And this is big, like this is really huge part of how I recovered. And it's also a big part of how I've stayed recovered. So when I was working to recover from panic disorder and agoraphobia, I knew I had to do lots of facing, I had to face a lot of discomfort. And it wasn't just about like getting out there and doing the physical things right like get in the car and go to the stores and go on the trips and like face the anxiety. There was so much more to it than that. Like I had to face things that I was wanting to run from and things that I had been wanting to run from for a long time. I'm, I had to get honest with myself and really stop being in this victim role and really take accountability for a lot of the things that I knew had to change. But I just, gosh, they made me so uncomfortable to have to make the changes, like I had to look at some relationships in my life. And I had to change some really unhealthy habits and undo a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms. And some of these things are really incredibly uncomfortable to do. And I also had to, just in general, feel my feelings like that was a big one. For me, that was so hard. I had to actually make space for the hard, tricky, uncomfortable emotions, and not just anxiety, it was anxiety, you sadness, it was anger. There were so many emotions, shame, like there were so many things I had to actually feel rather than suppressing and fighting and trying to get rid of these things like I had historically done. I of course, also had to do a lot of the stuff that scared me, like even the little stuff, there were so many things that scared me, especially like I said, being in places and situations in which I felt stuck and trapped. Like I had to actually allow myself to be in meetings at work, I had to allow myself to be the passenger in a car, I had to get on trains, I had to do all this stuff that really scared me. I really had to push myself to learn and grow. And these are all things that I continue to do. Like it didn't just stop when I recovered from panic disorder, and agoraphobia. Like, these are things that I knew and recognized, I have to continue to do these things. Otherwise, I might fall back into some old tendencies. So I have continued throughout the years since I've been recovered to push myself. And just to give you some specifics, right in 2023, I pushed myself to face a lot of uncomfortable things. Because I was feeling like, I'm just not, not there. Not that I ever think you arrive at this place where you're like, Oh, this is exactly who I am. In this, this feels great. But I knew that I was holding myself back, I knew there were still a lot of things that I didn't want to face. And I didn't want to do, because they were scary and uncomfortable. And this sort of doesn't end right when you recover. It's like there's so many things that will continue to be uncomfortable and scary. And you have to allow yourself to go there. So in 2023, I pushed myself to start going to an adult gymnastics class, which is actually really huge for me, because I am a mega introvert and just there were so much surrounding that that was uncomfortable. I also made some big and scary changes in my relationships. And I worked through lots of mom guilt. And I have honestly done more for me over the past year urine in a couple of months than I've done for myself and the past like six years. And I also went on a solo trip by myself where I stayed overnight in a cabin in the mountains by myself. I also did multiple solo hikes and some remote places. I flew on a plane and I took a trip with just me and Amelia, which is something that I had not done before. I taught a few new master classes, and although I was nervous to, to teach them they were went so well and they were received so well and they were so helpful. And they were actually really fun to do. And I in general got a heck of a lot better at slowing down and pulling back and just allowing myself to not constantly go and do. Which for me, if you know me, your client or student, you know, this is a hard thing for me to slow down. And this is something that I teach people like you have to slow down you have to allow yourself to be in stillness. Like your brain has to learn how to be in a place where things are quiet, and it's okay when things are quiet. So I in 2023 got much better at this. So yeah, just saying all of this out loud. My goodness, like I did so much. But it looked so similar when I was working to recover from panic disorder and agoraphobia. Like I was constantly pushing myself and it wasn't always in these big, scary overwhelming ways, right? It was usually scary but also manageable. But I had to continue to take those steps and I knew those small healthy steps me continuing to face the uncomfortable things is what would actually lead to the healing and it worked. So yeah, I truly believe that making this promise to myself in facing discomfort often has what's led to so much healing for me and so much knowing and trust within myself. And just being able to feel better about who I am and what I'm doing and how I'm experiencing and moving through life, like, I feel so much more peace, and joy and freedom. So I can tell you, I've got some really big and scary stuff planned for this year 2024. And I'm really excited to share it all with you, you know, I will share it on Instagram, I will share it here I will share it and may weekly emails, if you're not on my email list, you definitely want to get on that list because I share a lot of personal stuff there. And I'm able to connect much more personally, on the podcast and in my weekly emails, and I am on social media. But yeah, I have some big stuff planned, because I know facing discomfort sucks. It's scary. It is really anxiety producing. But it is what leads to so much of what we're wanting in life, that peace, that joy, that freedom, that knowing that trust, like all the dang good stuff. So there's always goodness on the other side of discomfort. And I always say you have to really allow yourself to go at it. Okay, the second promise that I made to myself probably sounds a little bit silly, and saying it out loud. I feel like sounds a little bit silly. But I made this promise to myself. And it was to never go back to struggling. And this might seem kind of obvious and silly, like I said, but it was really important to me that I made this promise to myself, like I knew when I was working to heal and recover what landed me in the place of disordered anxiety and panic. And I really became super aware of what contributed to my struggles and what led me there. And I knew the things that I had to fix. And I knew how I had to get healthy. And I knew I had to take all the steps. And I also knew I'm never doing this again, like I am never going back to that place. And it makes me so emotional to talk about because for 15 years of my life, it was so hard. And it didn't need to be so hard. Like I often made it so much more hard than it was because I wasn't willing to face the discomfort I wasn't willing to face myself honestly, like there was a lot that I just wasn't willing to do. There was of course, a lot two that I just wasn't aware of I didn't know and I had to learn all that stuff. But once I learned once I developed the awareness, once I really knew and committed to the healthy steps, I could see it was happening. And I was like, You are never going back to the place of struggling again. So what I mean by this, when I say I'm never going back to struggling is knowing that I had to continue to hold myself accountable, I had to continue to be honest with myself, I had to continue to take care of myself, put myself first support myself in the very basic ways on a daily basis. I had to have healthy boundaries and healthy relationships, and most importantly, have the healthy relationship with myself. I had to not abandon myself, like I had for so many years in this is all the work that I did that helped me to heal. But it's also the work I knew that I had to continue to do in order to not go back there. I really had to get really good at taking care of myself. And I feel like I do this really well. Now. And this is stuff that I encourage my clients and students alike, you have to get really good at taking care of yourself, you have to be first I don't care if you have kids, I don't care if you're married, I don't care what it looks like you have to be first otherwise, nobody's gonna get the best version of you, you're not going to get the best version of you. Like if you really want to live this big life, this, this life that's full of lots of joy and peace and freedom, like you have to take care of you. And part of this is really getting to know you getting to know yourself like what's helpful for you. What you know is is not going to be healthy, what's going to lead to stress what's gonna lead to anxiety, and you have to really learn yourself and really get good at taking care of you. And so now, nowadays, right? I'm not living as if I'm trying to prevent the anxiety, panic and agoraphobia from coming back. Like I don't have these crazy routines. I don't meditate all the time. I really don't meditate at all. I try but a just something that I've never been able to really like commit to. I don't journal I don't have a crazy morning routine. Like I don't avoid caffeine or alcohol. I am not living like I'm trying to prevent it from coming back. I acknowledge anxiety is an emotion And I'm always going to experience it. But I know what leads to the disordered anxiety. I know what leads to that really tough stuff. And I don't ever want to go back there, because I know how I got there. And so I'm going to get really good at taking care of myself. And I'm going to continue to get really good at taking care of myself. And I think that this is a lifelong journey, right? Taking care of yourself and really loving yourself. And putting yourself first like, this is something that I always, always am committing to like, over and over again. So I've shared this right. I've only had one panic attack in the seven years that I've been recovered, and that panic attack sucked. It was awful. It's scary. I didn't handle it how I thought I would. But I knew why it happened. I recognized why it happened. And I allowed it to happen, right? And I didn't analyze I didn't read into it. I didn't say Oh, shit. Let me you know, brace like, am I going back there? Am I going to struggle again? Like no, I, I let it happen. And it's okay that it did. And I didn't tell myself any stories about it. And I didn't beat myself up about it. I just went on with living. Because I reminded myself, Shannon, you are not going back there. You are not going back to struggling. And so I knew what I had to do when that happened. But yeah, this one was such a big promise that I made to myself, because I acknowledged right, I knew how I got there. I had learned how I had gotten diagnosed with severe panic disorder and agoraphobia. I knew how it happened. And I recognized what I had to do to recover and, and tell myself, right, I'm not going back there ever, ever again, I will never go back there. And it's funny, because the first two promises that I made to myself, you know, facing discomfort often and never going back to struggling are very similar, and are almost the same promises I made myself when I quit my 17 year health care career back in 2021. Like I was so scared to make that leap. It was such a massive leap to say, I'm going to leave everything I've ever known. I'm going to leave everything I've worked for all of my schooling, all of my education, I'm going to leave it all behind. And I'm going to step into the unknown and become a full time anxiety recovery coach and own my own business. And oh my gosh, it was terrifying. But I made the same promises to myself, I will face discomfort, often, I will always face the hard stuff. And I know that's what's going to help me to actually succeed. And I will never go back to this this job, I will never go back to a job again. That is not fulfilling. That is not something that gives me all the things I want. I will never go back there. And so it's just so funny. I just wanted to mention that because I thought of it when I was talking through these two promises. And it's just so funny how I've made these promises to myself over and over again throughout my life. So let's get to the third one. The third one might sound cliche, but this is a promise that I told my mom like I am going to do this. And it's that I told myself, I will show others that it's possible to recover from panic disorder and agoraphobia. And I will help as many people as I can to live the lives that they're so deserving of. This was an is such an important promise to me that I will always hold. I will always hold this promise because when I was struggling, I felt so alone. And I felt so hopeless for so long. I felt like truly I was the only one going through it. I was the only one that had the thoughts and fears. I was crazy. And I thought this is it. This is what the rest of my life is going to look like. And I'm absolutely doomed. And I never want anyone to feel this way. I don't want anyone to believe that this is what their life has to look like just because it currently looks this way. I want you to know really know it's possible to recover. And you can do this. So all the work I did led me here to you talking to you on this podcast, showing up on social media. Trust me, it was so freakin hard to start my platform to put myself out there to be so freakin vulnerable. But I wanted to do it more than anything and some of my closest friends my best friend Jose Sheehan, and I still don't get it. It's still so crazy to me. Because I know you and I know how introverted you are. And you know how hard it must be for you to put yourself out there and put all your struggles out there. But it's so crazy because it's not hard. It's not hard for me because I know what's on the other side of me doing what I do. If I know that it's helping people, and I know that it's helping people to live the lives that they've convinced themselves that they're never going to live. And trust me, I wish I hadn't gone through a lot of what I did. But a huge part of me is grateful, because a lot of my struggles showed me who I am. And they helped me to step into this amazing version of myself. Like, I am so much kinder, more compassionate, more empathetic, like so many more of the good things. I'm so passionate about helping other people. And I really want to help people to live beautiful lives, because I know what it's like to feel and believe, like, it's just not possible. And I know it might sound crazy, right. But I truly am grateful for what I went through and how it's led me here to where you are now. And the messages that I get from my students and clients and just random people that follow me on Instagram. Like, the messages I get in, they're so grateful, and they're so thankful and they share how much they've been helped by what I share. Like, it's so so so so worth that. So I hope my crazy rambling has helped you, I hope me sharing these three promises with you have helped you in some way. And I encourage you make some promises to yourself. Like I always encourage me goals, create intentions, but I think it's so cool to make promises to yourself, and really hold yourself to the promises that you make to yourself like these are the things that helped to motivate you and keep you moving forward and just help you to become the most amazing version of yourself. So I want you to hear me, you are so capable of creating a healthy relationship with anxiety, and being free of the thoughts and the symptoms and panic attacks and fears like I am not special. I am not an exception. I know you might think that and think well, you've done all this, Shannon, but I can't. I used to think the same exact thing. You know, I created this platform to share my story and show you you're not alone. You're not different. There are so many people that are struggling with this. And you can absolutely recover. And I've helped so many clients and students reclaim their lives and do things in live in the ways that they never imagined they do. And I want that for you. Like there are so many people out there who have struggled with panic disorder and agoraphobia and they're no longer struggling because they took a lot of healthy and hard steps. And this is something that you can do too. So until next time, my friend. Make some promises to yourself. Keep facing discomfort, keep taking the healthy steps. Keep taking healthy action.
I hope you enjoyed this episode of a healthy push. If you want more, head on over to ahealthypush.com for the show notes and lots more tips, tools and inspiration that will support your recovery. And if you're hoping for me to cover a certain topic, be sure to join my Instagram community at Aldi push and let me know in the comments what you want to hear next.
