Pregnancy Round Two: What I’m Doing Differently for Labor, Postpartum & Anxiety

What if the biggest thing you could do to prepare for birth and postpartum was to stop trying to prepare for everything?

That's the place I'm coming from heading into this delivery. And honestly, it's taken me years of anxiety recovery to get here.

I want to share what I'm actually planning and more importantly, how I'm thinking about all of it. Because the mindset going in matters just as much as any birth plan.

Less Planning. More Trusting.

The biggest shift I'm making this time around is this: fewer rigid expectations, more surrender.

One of the most powerful lessons I learned in my anxiety recovery is that the less you try to control everything, the more peace you actually experience. And some of the most beautiful moments happen in the middle of uncertainty. So while I have preferences — loose plans — I'm holding them lightly. I'm not white-knuckling any of this.

However this labor and delivery goes, that's how it's going to go. And I'm really okay with that.

Planning Another Unmedicated Birth — But Differently

I'm planning to have another unmedicated, natural birth. I had one with Amelia and it went really well. Looking back, I'm honestly a little shocked at how smooth it was for a first delivery.

I'm choosing this route again because I don't like not being in my body. Labor is one of those experiences where you have to be present, feel what's happening, and trust the process. That feels right for me.

This time though, I want to give myself more permission to move and try different positions instead of just lying on my back the whole time. Having been through it once, I have so much more confidence and trust in myself going in.

That said — if I need an epidural, if I need a C-section, I am okay with that too. Anxiety recovery taught me that you really don't have control, and accepting that brings so much more peace than fighting it.

Postpartum: This Time Feels Like a Do-Over

My postpartum experience with Amelia was really hard. And I think it was hard mostly because everything was brand new. I had no idea what to expect. I didn't take classes. I didn't research much. And then suddenly I was sleep deprived, overwhelmed, afraid I was doing everything wrong, and adding so much extra stress by Googling everything and spiraling on social media.

Looking back, there was a lot of anxiety there — totally natural anxiety, but a lot of it. And I didn't ask for help. Not once. That hyper-independence I've always struggled with was in full force, and it made everything so much harder.

This time, I'm doing things differently.

I'm going to trust myself. I know how to take care of a baby. I know what I need. I'm not going to add to the inevitable sleep deprivation and fog by overanalyzing everything.

I'm going to ask for help. Out loud. Before I'm drowning. I'm already practicing this now because I know my brain needs the reps before I'm in the thick of it.

I'm going to let myself live. After the first few weeks of just being home, bonding, and healing, I want to actually do things — go on walks, run errands, go on small adventures, spend time at the lake in Maine like I do every summer. With Amelia, I said no to so much. This time I want to say yes more.

I'm going to take better care of myself. Connection is such a huge part of healing — I tell my students this all the time. This time I'm going to actually live it.

Breastfeeding Again, With Different Expectations

I breastfed Amelia for about 13 or 14 months. It was one of the hardest parts of postpartum and also one of the most beautiful — and yes, I got emotional just saying that out loud. Pregnancy hormones are something else.

Last time I was pumping at a corporate job, dropping my baby off at daycare, trying to hold everything together. It was so much. This time I'm hoping I can just be with him more and pump a whole lot less. Whether that's possible, I don't know. But I'm going into it with an open hand instead of a tight grip.

What Comes After the First Few Months

I'll be honest — I haven't totally figured this part out yet. I hated daycare with Amelia. Dropping her off while I was still healing, while she was still so little — it felt awful. I don't want to do that again.

What I'm hoping for is maybe a nanny for a few hours a week, someone who can be here at the house so I can get some work in without being fully separated from him. Whether that's financially realistic, I genuinely don't know. But that's what I'm working toward.

What I do know is that my business is continuing through all of it. The podcast, my YouTube channel, my newsletter, my community, Panic to Peace in the fall — none of that is going away. This work is part of how I stay healthy. It keeps me connected, creative, and grounded. Letting go of all of it wouldn't be good for me.

Social media will probably look a little quieter. And that's okay. My energy is going where it matters most.

The Question I Want to Leave You With

Going into this birth and postpartum, I'm putting so much more trust in myself than I ever have before. And I want to ask you the same thing I'm asking myself:

What would it look like for you to put a little more trust in yourself right now?

It doesn't have to be big. Just one small step toward trusting yourself more. Because the more we do that — the more peace we actually get to experience.

Until next time, keep taking healthy action.

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