Depersonalization and Derealization: What It is and How to Work Through It

Sep 9

On this episode of A Healthy Push podcast we are talking all about depersonalization and derealization, aka DPDR! These are a couple of anxiety symptoms that can feel really uncomfortable, weird, and scary, so I want to share some things with you that will help to make these symptoms a lot less scary and more manageable to work through!

Before we dive in, I want to point out something important. I know you want to get rid of all of the symptoms, and there’s probably one in particular that you really want to get rid of. But, the more you focus on getting rid of a particular symptom, the more it’s going to hang around. When you stop focusing on getting rid of the symptoms and start focusing on having a healthy response to them, this is what will help them to stop showing up - all of them, not just DPDR.

So although I’m going to share lots of helpful stuff here on DPDR, I want you to start thinking about your anxious thoughts, symptoms, and fears as anxiety as a whole, and when you do this, you’re actually able to heal your relationship with anxiety.

What is Depersonalization and Derealization?

Depersonalization can feel like you're detached from your body, thoughts, and feelings, while derealization feels like you're disconnected from your surroundings. It’s like being in a dream, watching yourself from outside, or just feeling "off." Many people describe these sensations as feeling dissociated, which can be really unsettling.

When I struggled with DPDR, I felt so disconnected that it terrified me. I’d be out at restaurants or in meetings, tapping on walls or pinching myself, just trying to snap back to reality. The fear of losing control is real, and it can make you worry that you’re losing your mind. But here’s the thing—you're not going crazy, and these symptoms don't mean you are!

Why Do We Experience These Symptoms?

When you experience DPDR, your brain is trying to protect itself from stress and overwhelm, whether it's from prolonged anxiety, recent trauma, or ongoing stress. It might feel like your brain is temporarily shutting down, making you feel disconnected, but it’s actually a protective mechanism.

If you think about it, the timing of your DPDR might make sense—maybe you’ve been under a lot of stress for a while or went through something traumatic. That was the case for me. Once I understood DPDR better, I realized why those symptoms showed up when they did.

Practical Tips for Working Through DPDR!

01. Stop trying to get rid of it or prevent it from showing up. I know it’s tough, but practicing acceptance is key. Acknowledge when you’re feeling it, let yourself feel it, and then gently bring yourself back to the present. Instead of trying to stop or avoid these feelings, focus on how you respond to them. This approach helps the sensations pass more quickly and show up less often. Also, try not to constantly check in on how you're feeling, as it only feeds the anxiety.

02. Don’t desperately try to make yourself come out of it. I learned this one the hard way, and lots of my students have. When you’re experiencing DPDR and you’re desperately trying to think and do your way out of it, it just heightens the disconnected feeling and it typically leads to you feeling really anxious or even experiencing a panic attack. So rather than try to make yourself come out of it, practice letting yourself acknowledge it, feel it, and then redirecting. I know you don’t want to be with the feeling, rightfully so, but being with it is what helps it to pass.

03. Start listening to your body, and yourself. If you’re experiencing DPDR, especially often, there’s a good chance you’re experiencing lots of stress and you’re ignoring some signs your body is sending you. Slowing down and supporting yourself in healthier ways goes a long way.

04. Prioritize basic self-care. This means consistently prioritizing sleep, movement, staying hydrated, eating nourishing foods, asking for help, and I could go on and on. This one often gets overlooked which is why so many people continue to struggle with anxiety. You have to take care of yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally if you want to heal your relationship with anxiety.

05. Don’t try to make yourself not feel afraid of it. I think we convince ourselves that if we don’t feel afraid of it then everything will be okay. But it’s okay to feel afraid of how you feel when you feel dissociated. And honestly, of course you feel afraid. But when you start responding to it in a healthy way to it, and you start better supporting yourself, it’ll start reducing the fear you feel surrounding it.

If you’re really struggling with DPDR and other anxiety symptoms, I really want to encourage you to take my masterclass on Overcoming the Symptoms & Panic Attacks. In it, I walk you through very practical ways to find long-term relief from these symptoms.

Alright, until next time, keep taking healthy action!