Recovered & Rambling: Wait, am I recovered? Vibe checking therapists. Wanting control. Why Rob is winning traitors.

Have you ever been out living your life, doing the things you used to be terrified of, only to have your brain whisper: “Wait… am I actually recovered, or is the other shoe about to drop?”

Welcome to the very first installment of Recovered & Rambling!

If you’ve been following A Healthy Push for a while, you know I usually show up with a plan and a lesson. But recently, I realized that as much as we need the "how-to," we also need the "me too." I wanted a space to sit down with my right-hand person and dear friend, Brittany, to just... talk. No script, no formal teaching, just two friends (one recovered for a decade, one more recently) chatting about anxiety, life, motherhood, and everything in between.

Brittany brings a fresh perspective because while I’ve been recovered for a decade, she is newly recovered. It’s the perfect mix of "I’ve been where you are" and "I’m right here with you."

The "Am I Recovered?" Question

One of the biggest things Brittany and I dove into is the misconception that recovery means "zero anxious thoughts ever again." Brittany shared that even though she’s out driving, working, and living, her "Type A" brain still likes to overthink.

Here is the truth: Recovery isn't the absence of feelings; it's the absence of anxiety's control over your life. We often get caught in the "regression" trap. The moment we have a panic attack or a bad day, we think we’re back at square one. But as Brittany and I discussed, those moments are just part of being a human being. If you’re doing the thing while feeling the thing, you aren’t regressing, you’re healing.

The Therapist Vibe Check

I recently had to find a new therapist after mine retired (which, let’s be honest, felt a little bit like a breakup), and it reminded me how much finding professional support feels like dating.

Brittany and I realized we both use the "Vibe Check" method. I don’t care about the credentials on the wall as much as I care about: Do I feel seen? Does this person get it? Can I be vulnerable here? We talk about why the search for a therapist can feel like a full-time job and why the free consult call is your best friend. If the vibe is off in the first five minutes, it’s okay to keep looking. You deserve a connection, not just a certificate.

Facing the "Firsts" (and the Mammogram Bus)

Brittany shared about a recent "first" for her: getting a mammogram. We’ve all been there, that naturally anxiety-producing moment where you’re headed toward a medical test and the "what ifs" start screaming. Brittany’s doctor told her about a "mammogram bus," which sounds like a total game-changer for anyone who hates the clinical, sterile vibe of a hospital waiting room.

But the real recovery win? Brittany didn't try to hide her nerves. She walked in and told the technicians, "I have a little anxiety." By putting it out there, she took the power away from the panic. We talk about why being honest about your nerves to others—and yourself—is actually the most helpful thing you can do.

The "Bubble Wrap" Struggle

Motherhood and anxiety go hand-in-hand, especially when it comes to the lack of control. I opened up about the nerves I’m currently feeling as Amelia goes on vacation with her dad. And while she is in safe hands, she’s not in MY safe hands.

The hardest part of recovery is accepting that we cannot bubble-wrap the people we love. We discussed the "You're Fine" trap… that knee-jerk reaction to dismiss our own feelings (and our kids' feelings) just to try and gain a sense of control. We talk about why comforting the feeling as it passes through is the only way to actually find peace, even when our kids are jumping off cliffs into the ocean.

Why Rob is Winning Traitors

We couldn’t have a rambling session without diving into our favorite trash TV, specifically the psychological warfare of The Traitors. We spent a lot of time analyzing why Rob is such a master at the game. It’s his consistency. While everyone else is being reactive or dramatic, Rob’s energy stays the same.

I think there is actually a huge recovery lesson there. When we can stay consistent and grounded even when the "snakes" (our anxious thoughts) are swirling around us, that’s when we win the game.

Our Healthy "Check Out"

Finally, we had to admit that there is something weirdly soothing about checking out of our own reality to watch someone else’s. You’d think the drama of reality TV would add to the stress, but for us, it’s the opposite. It’s our version of "healthy dissociating." It gives our nervous systems a break from being the lead character and lets us overthink a Scottish castle mystery instead of our own lives. Sometimes, the best self-care is just hitting play on some good old-fashioned trash TV.

What about you? Do you struggle with the "Am I recovered?" question? Do you have a reality TV obsession that helps you disconnect?

Come tell me over on Instagram @ahealthypush!

Until next time, keep taking healthy action.

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