Mistakes I Made in Anxiety Recovery So You Don’t Have To

Why Doing "Everything Right" Might Be Keeping You Stuck in Anxiety

Have you ever felt like you’re the star student of anxiety recovery, yet you’re still failing the class?

I’ve been there. I was the person with the stack of books, the highlighter, the supplements, and a schedule full of exposures. I was doing "all the things," yet I felt like I was running on a hamster wheel—exhausted, overwhelmed, and still very much anxious.

Looking back, I realize that I wasn't actually recovering; I was just trying to out-work my anxiety. I was making a series of mistakes that felt like "productive healing" at the time, but were actually keeping me stuck in a cycle of resistance.

If you feel like you’re working harder than ever but getting nowhere, you might be making these same mistakes. Let's break them down—without any blame or shame—so you can find a lighter way forward.

1. You’re an Expert on Anxiety, But a Stranger to Yourself

I used to think that if I understood every neurological mechanism and every physical symptom, I could outsmart my anxiety. I became a "deep intellectualizer."

The problem? You don't heal by consuming more information; you heal by learning how to experience your emotions. Education is a great foundation, but at some point, you have to stop reading about the water and actually learn how to swim. Recovery happens when you turn inward and learn what you need to feel safe, rather than looking for a solution in another book.

2. You’re White-Knuckling Your Way Through "Healing"

There is a big difference between courage and force. For a long time, I approached exposure work like a drill sergeant. I forced myself to drive, to go out, and to stay in uncomfortable places while my teeth were clenched and my heart was racing.

I thought I was "facing my fear," but I was actually just torturing my nervous system. Healing doesn't happen through pressure; it happens through safety. If you’re forcing yourself through life without any self-compassion, you’re just adding more stress to an already overwhelmed system.

3. You’re Analyzing Instead of Allowing

"Why did I panic today? What does this new symptom mean? Was it something I ate?"

I spent so much mental energy trying to solve anxiety like it was a math problem. But anxiety isn't a problem to be solved; it’s an emotion to be felt. When we analyze, we are subtly telling ourselves that it isn't okay to feel this way. Sometimes, the most "advanced" thing you can do for your recovery is to stop asking why and just give yourself permission to feel weird for a while.

4. You’re Aiming for a "Perfect" Recovery

I used to treat anxiety like a failure. If I felt a wave of panic, I’d think, "I'm going backward. I'm broken. I'm doing this wrong." I was trying to heal perfectly, thinking that if I just responded "correctly" every time, the anxiety would eventually disappear forever. But perfection and healing cannot live in the same space. Recovery is messy, non-linear, and full of plateaus. Feeling anxious isn't a sign of failure—it’s just a sign that you’re human.

The Big Secret: Doing Less is the Key

The biggest realization of my journey was this: Healing didn't happen when I did more. It happened when I did a whole lot less.

I don't mean giving up. I mean:

• Less fighting.

• Less analyzing.

• Less forcing.

• Less self-criticism.

When I stopped making recovery a full-time job and started meeting myself with kindness, things finally began to shift. You don't have to fix yourself before you can start living your life. Sometimes, you just have to take one small, gentle step forward—even if you’re bringing the anxiety along for the ride.

ready to stop doing it alone?

Inside my 10-week program, Panic to Peace, I’ll guide you through this work step by step and you’ll be surrounded by people who truly get it.

You don’t have to stay stuck. Healing is possible and it’s closer than you think.

Come hang out with me on Instagram → I'd love to connect with you!