Hills I Will Die on as Someone who Struggled with Anxiety, Panic Disorder, & Agoraphobia for 15 Years

I lived in the trenches of panic disorder and agoraphobia for 15 years. That is a long time to be told what you "should" be doing. During those years, I was handed a lot of advice, exposed to "gold standard" treatments, and told that my genetics were my destiny.

Now that I’m on the other side—and after helping hundreds of students find their own way out—I’ve developed some very strong opinions. There are certain beliefs I hold about recovery that I would absolutely die on a hill for.

Why? Because the mainstream advice often lacks the nuance and compassion required for real, long-term healing. If you’ve felt like you’re failing at recovery, it might just be because you’re following advice that doesn’t actually fit the human experience of anxiety.

Here are the 8 hills I’ll die on.

1. Your Genetics Are Not a Life Sentence

I have a massive genetic history of anxiety. My mother, grandfather, and great-grandmother all struggled with panic and agoraphobia. For years, I believed I was "genetically screwed."

The Hill: You might have a genetic predisposition, but that does not mean you are destined to struggle forever. Genetics might load the gun, but your environment, your patterns, and your relationship with anxiety pull the trigger. You are fully capable of creating a healthy relationship with your body, no matter what your family tree looks like.

2. Willpower and "Facing Your Fears" Aren't Enough

We’ve all heard it: "Just get out there and do it!"The Hill: If willpower worked, you wouldn’t be anxious anymore. The people I work with are some of the most determined, Type-A overachievers I’ve ever met. They are already "doing the shit"—but they are doing it with so much force and pressure that they are actually traumatizing their nervous systems further. Recovery isn't about white-knuckling; it’s about balancing courage with care.

3. Exposure Therapy Isn't "The Only Way"

This is controversial, but I’ll say it: Exposure therapy (ERP) is not a magic wand for everyone.

The Hill: If you don't have a foundation of internal safety and trust, jumping straight into exposures is like trying to run a marathon on a broken leg. I’ve had students spend years in traditional exposure therapy with zero progress because they were "forcing" their way through it without the capacity to actually feel. There is so much work to be done before and beyond exposures.

4. "Nervous System Regulation" Can Be a Trap

Social media is currently obsessed with "regulating your nervous system."

The Hill: The constant pressure to "be calm" and "stay regulated" often becomes just another thing on your to-do list that causes more stress. If you’re buying every gadget, oil, and tea to "fix" your dysregulation, you’re actually signaling to your brain that your current state is an emergency. Sometimes, the most regulating thing you can do is stop trying so hard to regulate.

5. You Can’t Force Yourself to Be "Less Afraid" of Panic

Panic is an adrenaline rush. Adrenaline is physiologically designed to make you feel afraid so that you take action.

The Hill: Trying to "not be scared" during a panic attack is like trying to not get wet in a rainstorm. It’s silly. You don’t get over panic by forcing yourself to be brave; you get over it by changing your relationship with the sensations. You learn that you can be scared and safe at the same time.

6. Sour Gummies and Ice Packs Are Just Band-Aids

I understand why people use them, and I don't shame anyone for it. Short-term relief is sometimes necessary.

The Hill: Looking outward for "saving" (oils, cold water, distractions) prevents you from looking inward for trust. These things provide a temporary escape, but they don’t heal the core belief that you are incapable of handling a panic attack on your own. True healing comes from realizing you have everything you need inside you.

7. You Don't Need a "Big Traumatic Story" to Be Valid

I hear this a lot: "I don't know why I'm like this; nothing bad ever happened to me."

The Hill: Your anxiety is 100% valid even if you had a "good" childhood and no major trauma. Sometimes, a single panic attack that scared you deeply is enough to start the cycle. You don't need to go digging for trauma to justify why you’re struggling. Your experience deserves support, regardless of its "origins."

8. Panic Disorder and Agoraphobia Are NOT Life Sentences

This is the biggest hill of all. I have heard professionals tell students that they just need to "learn to live with" their disorder because it’s a lifelong struggle.

The Hill: That is absolute bullshit. I have seen hundreds of people—some who were housebound for decades—fully recover. They don't just "manage" it; they move past it. They travel, they drive, and they live lives that aren't dictated by "what-ifs."

A Healthy Push Toward Freedom

If you’ve been clinging to a belief that makes you feel heavy or "broken," I want to give you permission to question it today. Recovery doesn't have to be a battle of force. It can be a journey of curiosity, self-compassion, and small, consistent steps.

You don’t need a perfect plan, and you don’t need to follow every "expert" on Instagram. You just need to listen to yourself and stop doing the things that give you the "ick."

Panic to Peace doors open again this September and won’t open again until September 2027! If you have been wanting to sign up, now is your chance!

Get on the waitlist here.

ready to stop doing it alone?

Inside my 10-week program, Panic to Peace, I’ll guide you through this work step by step and you’ll be surrounded by people who truly get it.

You don’t have to stay stuck. Healing is possible and it’s closer than you think.

Come hang out with me on Instagram → I'd love to connect with you!