The Raw Truth About Mom Anxiety & Making ‘Right’ Choices with Dr. tuesday watts
Are you constantly fighting the fear that you’re going to "mess up" your kids? As an anxiety recovery coach and a mom myself, I understand that crushing pressure all too well. It’s the voice of perfectionism telling us we’re failing.
That’s why I was so excited to talk with Dr. Tuesday Watts, a psychologist and incredible advocate for maternal mental health. We dove deep into the raw, unspoken parts of motherhood that fuel our deepest anxieties. We tackled the toxic idea of perfectionism head-on and shared why dropping the impossible standards is the only way to genuinely find peace.
If you’re a parent who feels overwhelmed, second-guesses every decision, or is simply exhausted, this conversation is your official permission slip to be a full-feeling, limited-capacity human.
1. The Perfectionist Trap: Why the Standards Are Inhumane
Dr. Tuesday Watts and I quickly bonded over our shared experience of walking into motherhood as die-hard perfectionists. We realized the pressure we put on ourselves was simply inhumane.
"I came into this thing with a really inhumane idea about what it was going to take to be a mother... I almost viewed myself as a machine, as a robot, just kind of ticking the boxes, but ignoring the fact that I am a limited capacity, full feeling human being."
We discovered that this rigid need to "get it right" for our children ultimately broke us. It's time to stop expecting yourself to be a flawless machine and acknowledge the reality that you have a limited bandwidth.
2. Stop Shaming Your Emotions: Embrace the Full Spectrum
The biggest struggle for many mothers isn't just the laundry or the lack of sleep; it’s the intense emotional experience. We explored why it's so common for mothers to feel intense emotions like rage, resentment, and sadness.
The problem isn't the feeling; it's our reaction to it. Instead of acknowledging the emotion, we turn inward and ask: "What does this reveal about me? Am I a bad mom?"
Dr. Watts stressed that this is just a normal part of being a human with a fully equipped brain. Trying to hide or suppress emotions doesn't work; it just makes the feelings fester and come out even louder. You deserve to experience a full spectrum of feelings without shame.
3. Why "Wellness Hacks" Aren't the Answer
We took a hard look at the exhausting "wellness culture" that often plagues social media. We discussed the frustrating phenomenon of quick fixes, such as 27-step, 5 AM morning routines.
The issue with these hacks is they are another way of trying to bypass our difficult feelings, which is what we've been conditioned to do our whole lives. Instead of giving us a deep breath and telling us to move on, we need to learn to sit with our discomfort and ask:
"What is this feeling asking for? What is it trying to tell me?"
When you use your emotions as a signal for an unmet need—instead of trying to suppress them—you move closer to peace and authenticity.
4. The Power of Building Self-Trust
A huge part of our anxiety comes from the constant cycle of second-guessing ourselves. The endless stream of information and external expert advice about parenting literally destroys our intuition and self-trust.
Dr. Watts called self-trust the ultimate antidote to perfectionism.
For me, building self-trust meant learning to ignore the outside noise and starting to listen to my own body’s signals. For Dr. Watts, this looked like honoring her gut feeling and cancelling every baby class she hated—even though she thought she should be doing them. When you make small decisions based on what feels right for you, you slowly give your brain the evidence that you can trust yourself.
5. Rupture and Repair is Better Than Perfect
Finally, we talked about one of the most freeing concepts for any anxious mom: letting go of control and accepting that you will make mistakes.
We discussed the pressure to hide emotions like anger or anxiety from our kids. Research shows this approach doesn't actually protect them; it makes you less emotionally available.
The true breakthrough is realizing that it benefits your children to see you in your "imperfect, messy human glory." When you make a mistake (a rupture), and then sincerely apologize, take accountability, and repair the connection, you are teaching them an invaluable lesson about emotional safety and relationship skills. This process strengthens your bond far more than trying to be emotionally perfect 24/7.
Don't miss the full conversation with Dr. Tuesday Watts for practical advice on finding compassion for yourself and letting go of impossible standards.
Connect with Dr. Tuesday Watts
Instagram: @IamDrTuesday
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