Are you craving connection and community? What does it really mean to have a community?

Not just a group chat or some go-to dinner friends. I’m talking about the kind of connection where someone shows up with soup when you’re sick, checks in just because they haven’t heard from you, or says, “Hey, I’ve got you” when life feels heavy.

In my recent conversation with Casey Molina, writer, poet, and integrative health coach, we dove into a topic that hit us both on a deeply personal level: the difference between having friends and actually having a community.

We All Crave Community (But Few of Us Feel Like We Have It)

Casey’s viral reel struck a chord with thousands because it spoke to something so many of us feel but struggle to put into words. As Casey shared, even when you have a group of friends, you can still feel unsupported during life’s toughest moments.

For her, this realization came during a major breakup. For me, it hit when I became a mother. These moments opened our eyes to a quiet but profound kind of loneliness, and the realization that we didn’t have the kind of community we truly needed.

Casey said something that stuck with me: “Community is not just the people you grab dinner with once a week.” It’s about intentional living and shared values. It’s about building something that lasts.

Why Are We So Lonely?

Despite constant digital connection, so many of us feel deeply alone. Casey offered a powerful insight: “Community feels like an inconvenience.”

We've grown accustomed to convenience culture and immediate gratification. And with that comes the urge to avoid emotional effort. We don’t want to burden others, and we assume others don’t want to burden us. That fear of inconvenience keeps us from reaching out, checking in, or being vulnerable.

Even small interactions, like chatting with the grocery store clerk can feel taxing. But Casey reminded us: it's in those small, consistent moments that real community can begin.

Social Media Isn’t the Answer, But It Might Be a Starting Point

We also talked about how social media and online groups can offer connection, but they’re not the end goal. As Casey put it, online spaces can be beautiful gateways to deeper relationships, but we have to take it offline.

Maybe that’s grabbing coffee with someone you met in a group coaching call. Maybe it’s inviting a neighbor over for dinner. It doesn’t have to be grand. It just has to be real.

Unlearning Individualism

Another layer to this conversation is the need to unlearn what we've been taught, especially the hyperfocus on self-sufficiency. In American culture especially, we’re praised for doing it all alone. But community asks something different. It invites us to ask:

• Who can I show up for today?

• What do I have to offer?

• How can I be part of something bigger than myself?

Casey reminded us that community is about giving just as much as it’s about receiving. Maybe you’re the friend who always cooks too much, invite someone over. Maybe you’re great at listening, offer a walk and an open ear. These simple acts create bonds.

A Small (But Mighty) First Step

When I asked Casey where to start, her answer was clear: Get curious. Ask yourself:

• What do I long for in community?

• What would it feel like?

• What do I have to offer?

• Who around me might want the same thing?

  
  

Then, take one small action. Host a book night. Start a group chat with a few friends and check in weekly. Join a local class or event. As Casey shared from her own life, you don’t have to fly to another country to find what you’re seeking, it might already be around the corner.

Let’s Normalize Wanting More

So many of us are tired of feeling isolated, even when surrounded by people. Let’s normalize longing for deeper connection. Let’s talk about it, name it, and take small but brave steps toward building it.

This conversation reminded me that we’re not alone in our loneliness, and that’s a powerful place to start.

Want to connect with Casey?

Follow her on Instagram @caseymolinaa and TikTok @caseyshealing. You can also check out her Substack and coaching work.

And if you’re craving a real, supportive community, come join us inside the A Healthy Push community, where we’re doing this vulnerable, brave, intentional work together.