You’re Not Weak—Here’s Why You’re Avoiding Your Fears (And What to Do About It)

Avoidance in Anxiety Recovery

Avoidance in anxiety recovery... It’s something most people struggling with panic disorder, or agoraphobia know so well. And yet, many don’t fully understand why it’s happening or how to move past it—without it feeling so dang hard.

In this episode of A Healthy Push, I finally gave avoidance the attention it deserves. Because while I’ve touched on it in many episodes, I’ve never done a full deep dive… until now.

First, Let’s Be Clear: Avoidance Is Normal

Avoidance isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a human response to distress. When something feels scary or overwhelming, it makes sense that your brain and body want to steer clear.

Whether you’re avoiding places, sensations, thoughts, or full-blown panic attacks, it’s understandable. But if avoidance is running the show, it’s also likely keeping you stuck.

Why You’re Really Avoiding

There are several reasons avoidance shows up and sticks around:

1. Fear of Feeling

Many people think they’re avoiding places or situations, but what they’re really avoiding is feeling. Whether it’s anxiety, panic, shame, or discomfort, feeling anything intense can seem unbearable, so your system tries to shut it down.

2. The “What Ifs” and Worst-Case Thinking

Your brain wants to protect you, and it gets stuck in overdrive imagining all the terrible things that could happen. The problem? This kind of thinking fuels even more fear and leads you to avoid anything that isn’t 100% certain or safe.

3. Past Traumas with Anxiety or Panic

If you’ve had tough experiences, like panic attacks in public or feeling trapped in a situation, it makes sense that your brain goes, “Let’s not do that again.” But while it’s trying to help, this survival mechanism can reinforce more avoidance.

4. Waiting for Readiness

“I’ll do it when I feel better.” Sound familiar? Many people avoid taking action because they’re waiting to feel ready, motivated, or confident. But those feelings usually come after taking action, not before.

5. Perfectionism and Overwhelm

If you’re trying to do it all perfectly, anxiety recovery can feel like too much. That pressure can lead to burnout, shame, and, you guessed it, more avoidance.

6. Exposure Therapy Gone Wrong

Maybe you’ve tried exposure therapy before and felt retraumatized. If it was done without support, kindness, or a focus on safety, it likely left you feeling worse, not better. That’s not your fault, and there’s a gentler way that's a lot more helpful!

7. Shame and Lack of Self-Compassion

Shame says, “You should be further along by now.” It makes you beat yourself up for avoiding, which ironically just causes more avoidance. You can’t recover by shaming yourself, you need compassion.

8. Lack of Self-Trust

This might be the biggest one of all. So many people believe they can’t handle anxiety, panic, or discomfort. They don’t trust themselves to feel, to cope, to face it. And if you don’t trust yourself, how could you possibly move forward?

So What Do You Do Instead?

Here’s the truth: recovery isn’t about just being brave or powering through. You don’t need more grit or willpower, you need more self-trust.

Healing happens when you gently teach your brain and body that you’re safe. That you can feel hard things and move through them. That you don’t have to white-knuckle your way through every exposure.

It’s Not About Strength - It’s About Safety, Trust, and Support

We’re so often told to just “do the hard thing.” But if you’re constantly pushing yourself without safety or support, it’s not sustainable. That’s why I created my new mini-course: Fear to Freedom: Facing Panic and Avoidance Without It Feeling So Hard.

This class gives you a simple, compassionate, step-by-step approach to help you:

• Reframe avoidance (without shaming yourself)

• Build self-trust and safety

• Take real, meaningful action - without white-knuckling

• Stop living in fear and start reclaiming your freedom

And the best part? It’s designed for real life. No fluff. No overwhelm. Just helpful, supportive tools to move you forward with confidence.

let’s get you unstuck

Avoidance might have helped you cope for a while, but it’s not where you want to stay. You deserve to feel free, empowered, and capable. And you are capable, even if you don’t fully believe it yet.

If you’re ready to stop avoiding and start moving forward (without it feeling so scary), check out my new class, Fear to Freedom.